What Have I Been Up To?

There is a lot of time between applying for jobs and looking for jobs. I apply to at least one job per day, and I spend many hours looking for jobs to apply for, but you can't fill all of your time looking for a job because that will drive you insane. So what do I do in the mean time?

Read:

I went to the library and picked up five books the other day and not a single one of them was assigned to me. It's been a while since I could read something without feeling bad that I wasn't reading something for school or something more "literary." But the simple truth is that I like my Mercedes Lackey and "non-literary" fiction just as much, if not more than the other stuff... There is nothing wrong with liking a book because it makes you feel good and fufilled, rather than sad and depressed. Especially when your life is stressing you out already.

Craft: 

It's been just as long, I think, since I haven't felt like I had to squeeze my craft/art stuff in during whatever time I could find. I got this gorgeous sconce from a yard sale for three dollars and then took it from a shiny kinda tacky gold to this pretty aqua blue that acknowledges the possibility of tacky but embraces all the over-the-top scrolls and flourishes. And, thanks to my mom and e-bay, I've got some matching sconces coming to me. I can't wait to paint them, too! And to contrast all that bright color, I've started designing and blocking out a quilt that I've wanted to make for a while now. It's going to be all in greys, blacks, whites, creams, ect. I know, it sounds bland, but trust me. It will look good. I went to JoAnns to get some good deals on some quarter-yards, and I got many compliments. Neutrals don't have to be boring, and there is a ton of patterns and textures in it. I paid attention in my art classes. I know how to work this! I think it's going to look awesome. I'm pretty sure there will be more blogs about that in the future.
I did a lot of exploring quilt software, while trying to design this quilt. I know I'm not the first person to have ever made one because I got the idea from pinterest, but it is simple enough that I wanted to design it on my own and complicated enough that I wanted some computer help. It's ridiculous to me if we don't use these beautiful machines to help us do the tedious math. I am currently on a trial of some software (generally agreed to be the 2nd best, as far as I've seen), it's pretty badly designed on the user end, but seems to work adequately on the back end. I'm still curious about what the "best" quilting software would be like, but I don't have the money to spend on it now, and they don't have a trial option. I've also been watching you-tube videos in order to learn how to applique, because I am my mother's daughter, and while elaborate cross-stitching work isn't really my style, appliqueing a quilt block seems like something I might enjoy. And I love to have something to do while watching tv or at art nights that my friends host. Some people Zen Tangle. Maybe I'll quilt. Who knows.

Watch:
I admit it. I watch weird things these days. For some reason I got into watching these guys play Minecraft on YouTube. I can't really explain why it's enjoyable to me, but it is. Part of it is that they are British and what American doesn't love to listen to a British accent? Part of it is they start out just playing Minecraft and then somehow the series morphs into this weird half scripted/ half improvised action adventure acted out by Minecraft characters. Then after I "finished" their first series (Warning: it doesn't end, they just sorta stop) I went on to a different series, and then another and then another. But sometimes it's absolutely hilarious and the rest of the time it's good for background stuff while I'm cleaning or doing mundane crafting or whatever. I've found that I really like this kinda stuff for that. I've also been watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I know. You don't have to tell me that this is not great television. But again. It's funny and it's good for background. Let me tell you. I love Doctor Who, but The Doctor deserves my full attention. On the other hand, some guys playing a computer game or some housewives who lead ridiculous lives, can just keep me company in the background and maybe make me feel like I'm not such a terrible person in the mean time.

Play:
This has trickled off the longer I go without finding a job. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I need to feel like I've accomplished something more "real" and tangible, when I don't have a job, but I've been working my way through Final Fantasy XII. First off, let me say: They need to put some flipping pants on Fran, the bunny girl. I don't need to see that every time I'm leading the girl party.. But other than that, I was enjoying my first foray into the world of Final Fantasy. I'm sure I'm not done with it. When I'm feeling less job conscious or tired of all the hobbies I've picked back up, I'm sure I'll return to it. I don't know why it took me so long to play one, but it's fun... and it's free, which is good.

What I Haven't Been Doing:
Calling my friends: Is it stress? Partly. I think I'm letting my insecurity with the job translate over into other areas of my life as well, so I've not been reaching out nearly as much as I should. Which is dumb, cause I have great friends, and I have "all this time." But it's like the abundance of time is almost paralyzing in it's own way. I've completely reverted back to my night owl ways, and I look around and see how busy everyone else is, and here I am just sorta drifting... I never understood why someone who was in a lot of money trouble wouldn't want to open their bills-- I always thought, "But not opening them doesn't change their content." But now I'm starting to understand better. It's hard to be confronted with what you know is your own failure... and seeing people who know me seems to somehow underline my job-less-ness in my own mind.

Working out: I started working out this summer during the busiest time I had in school... and I managed 3 times a week for a month or so... and now it's dropped off significantly. I haven't given it up completely. The other night I did 6 sets of 9 (girl) pushups, which is pretty good, considering I started at 5 sets of 5 and could barely do it. So I've upped it to a little more than double. But you'd think I'd do it every day with all my free time. Nope. Not so much.




Ok guys, I'm ready to work again. Introspection and free time are overrated.