The problem with family reunions is the driving that's required to get to them. Another long drive tomorrow. :s
The thing that's hard about family reunions is that there are so many people... Wyatt's lovely bride makes 49 people in my "immediate" extended family. And I love each and every one of them.. and I want to talk to all of them.. but I don't know how to spread out my time, because there are a few that I haven't seen for years... seriously- pre-cancer. And I want to talk with those people and catch up and spend quality time with them which is impossible in a group of 49 people. But that means that I can't spend time with all the other people that I also want to see but whom I've seen more recently... and I just feel torn, because I don't know where to go or who to go with and I try to be more equal opportunity but it never works out like I want it to. Plus... it's harder to talk to some of my family than others.... And I don't have a lot of grace... I'm the same awkward girl I so often am. Only now I'm awkward and grace-less with family. I'm glad they have to love me anyway!
I get so tired of answering the question, "How are you doing, now?" It just shines a spotlight on the fact that I'm at a wedding and my husband is gone... I just want everyone to act like I'm me. Ask me *what* I'm doing, not how. Or just assume I'm fine unless I'm crying or looking really sad.
Of course, I'm also more sensitive than I would be if I hadn't gone through it... so who knows, maybe everyone is treating me like normal and I'm just more comfortable around the people who don't really care what I'm up to these days. Come with me, let's just live in the moment. The moment is my friend. The moment is how I get through the moments.
Speaking of moments I should make sure that I get enough sleep to drive for 5 hours tomorrow, so I'll catch ya on the flip.
And in case I don't see ya, Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.
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