Balancing the scales

One time in college I was a terrible person.

Kara and I were roommates and if you know anything about us, you know that Kara is a morning person and I... am not.

Except for this one weekend morning when I woke up raring to go at like 8AM. Fluke thing. It happens sometimes.

It doesn't often happen when a fluke happens to Kara on the same morning, though.

So I was up and at 'em... and I got up. And I showered... and I got dressed... and I'm sure I looked at my homework... and I sat around waiting for Kara to wake up at any moment, but she didn't and I was bored.

So I wrote a short paper I had for a class.

And she still wasn't awake and by this time it was at *least* 10 AM (and it should probably be noted that I don't even think it's sleeping-in until it's 11. )

But I was soooooo bored.

So I printed my paper.

On the printer I had in our room.

Which happened to be very noisy... no annoying loud shrieking or anything, just noisy in that clunking printer way. I did this with the hope that it would wake up Kara so she would come out and play.

And it totally worked! The printer made noise and she made her cute yawn noise and woke up, surprised that I was already up.

The problem is that later that day I admitted my secret plan to her.

And to this day I've never been able to live down that time I printed something out just to wake her up.

But  my friends, after a decade long grudge, the day has come when Kara and I once again stand on equal footing.

Guess who texted me at 7:00 AM this morning. (Sure, she offered up some malarky about getting the time change wrong.... but you know what? I *had* to print that paper, too.)

And once the text woke me up I couldn't go right back to sleep.... so I texted her back at 7:15 and we talked till 8:40.

There are very few people in this world whom I'd wake up for at 7:15 just to shoot the breeze with.

But at least now we are even.

Unfortunately I don't know how to print something at her place in Philly.

Procrastiblogging: Grad School Edition

Is it sacrilegious to praise the Lord for Pepsi and Ritz chips? Cause that's what I wanted to do this afternoon.

I've been having a very sleepy day, and Pepsi granted me caffeine and the Ritz Chips granted me... something to eat with my caffeine. 

Big test tomorrow. Procrastiblogging has begun!

By the by, I'm speaking in church on March 10th. It's actually part of a sermon series, which makes me feel cool and official.

So what's happening in my life and my mind these days?

A lot. Most of which I'm not prepared to blog about, some of which I can't.

But if there has been a theme for 2013 thus far, it's been, "Expect the unexpected."

The surprises have been all over the place. Some really good things, some really tough things, some things that are yet to be determined.

I'm still loving grad school. I think I love it more this semester than I did last semester. So that's awesome.

The boy situation has taken an interesting turn... which is all I'm prepared to say at this juncture. 

Family has it's mixture of good things and bad things, as per usual, but the good things and the bad things that you would expect seem to be switched, actually.

Spring break is approaching- The first Spring Break I've had in.... many years. I'm very excited about having time to just relax and watch some television and read some "for fun" books and hang out with friends.... I think becoming a creative writing professor might be a really good idea for me. You know, if I'm not going to become a world famous author. Not taking that last option off the table just yet.... or ever.

19 of 30

The List

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Well, this isn't a fair question at all. So my answer isn't going to be fair, either. I'm making up a new city. It's called Philamemfield.

It's the combination of Philly, Memphis, and Springfield.

Here's why:

I think that there is something truly wonderful and special about growing up in a super small community. There are experiences and topics that only people from my town can understand. Often small towns get dogged on for being resistant to change and "backwater." But you know what? It's like I have a huge extended, extended family. Yeah, everyone knew my business, but... it also kept me out of trouble. The one time I remember hanging out with "unsavory" sorts from some other town in highschool I saw like 5 people from my church, and all I wanted was to get the heck away from those boys before they did something illeagal and I got in trouble. My childhood was idyllic, and I think a good portion of that is from growing up in the wholesome countryside. Also I miss having snow that stayed on the ground for longer than 12 hours before melting away. Plus it would be nice not to have to drive 5 hours to get home.

That said, I love living in Springfield, where if I realize I'm out of chocolate chips I can run to the store on the way to my friend's house at 7 at night after driving through for Chinese takeout. And I can order a pizza and have it delivered to my house. And I can leave for work 15 minutes before I have to be there. And I don't have to plan going to a movie a week in advance if I don't want to. And I can go get pancakes at 3 in the morning if I want to. And despite all that I feel safe driving and people are super nice and there is parking wherever I go.

Which leads me to Philly which has beautiful historic architecture and a rich history and fabulous museums and bookstores and restaurants and culture... and Kara. And I miss living in the same town as her. So much.

To-Done List

I've done well today.

I kept telling everyone that I needed today off... And because I actually got my wish I used it to my advantage.

So, today:
I put away all my laundry but the dirty stuff.
I did my dishes.
I collected and documented all my taxes (have to actually take them to the accountant, but I wasn't going out in that even if the office was open today.)
I finished Beowulf.
I collected all the vocabulary I could glean from the first chapter of my Grammar book. (One more chapter to go before Sat!)
I paid my bills.
I mopped my kitchen floor.
I e-mailed people.
I spoke to friends.
I somehow managed to get 22 and 29 likes on two Facebook statusi made only an hour apart. Jigga wha?? That's what happens when most of one's friends are at home all day, too, I guess.

I just generally knocked a whole bunch of stuff off my to do list like a boss, and I'm feeling mighty victorious about it.

Which is really good cause this weekend is gonna be kinda crazy I think. Crazy, but in a good way.

Now here's hoping I can get out of my driveway tomorrow morning.

Motivational Star Trek

I really think I might be ok with being hit by an ice storm that shuts down campus. I need a day when I can't find anything to do but all the stuff I've been putting off.

I seem to be severely lacking in motivation lately.

For instance there is an embarrassingly large pile of clothes at the foot of my bed right now that are all *clean.* Do I need to put them away?

Yep.

Have I continued over and over just to dump out the clean laundry in that pile whenever I needed my laundry basket to wash more clothes?

Yep.

All my tax stuff is sitting on the half wall that separates my stairs from my hallway.

Pretty sure I'll be getting money back from that, and yet the papers remain.

Two bills are sitting on my table right now, with no reason to not mail in.

Still they sit.

Big test coming up next Tuesday-- need to start prepping for that.

Have barely done anything.

Dirty dishes from the weekend are sitting on my kitchen counter.

I don't even think I *looked* at them today.

There is just no sense of urgency for any of it.

Bills and taxes aren't due yet. No one sees the laundry or knows how long those dishes have been there (Well, ok, you do now.) The test is an entire week from now.

But everything is going to hit the fan soon. I've already got things piling up for this weekend, and on Sunday night when I'm totally overwhelmed, I'm going to be remembering how all I did Tuesday night was read one chapter of my Grammar text which I didn't absorb very well and which by the way that test is over...  oh and paint my nails.

And then I will raise my well-manicured fist to the sky and yell:

"Khaaaaan!"

And I'll feel slightly better.

Experience

Last night I went to a party.

This party was the 30th birthday of a grad-student friend of mine (and two other girls, who I didn't know.) It was kinda nuts, which I knew it would be, going into it.

Eventually some other grad-student friends showed up and I was glad to have some people at the party who I actually knew, but for a while there I was just standing around wondering how soon it would be polite to leave.

I didn't really want to go in the first place. It's not my scene- but... everyone has to have an experience like that at least once, right?

Probably not, actually, but I'm not sad that I went.

I'm also *not* sad that I didn't drink and left after 2 hours. When I left you literally couldn't even walk through the house. You just had to lean one direction and hope that the crowd carried you that way.

That's only a slight exaggeration.

I took cookies.

Most people show up to these things with beer or Jello shots. I brought cookies.

But they were a hit, and the birthday guy took a huge plate of them (the ones where I'd added raisins, which I think are disgusting, but he requested, so fine.) and hid them in his room.

And I also got to connect/touch base with people outside of school, which was really nice.

And now this morning I feel great and I'm actually up way earlier than I normally am, though I have no doubt there are a lot of people moaning in bed and pulling the covers over their eyes.

And just to complete the experience I think I'm gonna go get fast-food breakfast, cause it feels like the right thing to do. :)

This is Country Music

I've been on a country music kick for like a month now. I like a lot of different music. I like singer songwriters, I like folk, I like pop/top 40 music, and Broadway and all sorts of other music, but I got sick of the top 40 music that I had been listening to. Basically what happened was I had my radio on when a song came on that I was  already tired of because it had been so overplayed.. and when I switched to another station it was playing the same song.

So I switched to a country station and I've been enjoying it. In part because I don't already know all the songs, but in part because I really think there is something to country music.

This elicits eyebrow raises, disdain, scoffing, or groans depending on who is reacting. And quite often I hear, "Why?" in a pained voice.

Now the thing is, I'm not a musician. I like to sing. I like music, but I don't pick it apart, so some twang or some steel guitar or some notes that are sidled up to, rather than hit straight on don't bother me that much... It's just flavor. I don't know what it means when Pandora tells me that I like "Major key tonality"

What I care about are the lyrics, and country music, while often labeled cheesy and even cliché, says a lot about me and to me. This might be because *I* am cheesy and cliché, but I prefer to think of it as "true of heart" and "honest" and "direct."

It reminds me not to start feeling sorry for myself:

"Every time you think you got it bad, you can find someone who's got it worse. All the things you take for granted now, they started out as blessings first. If you got someone who loves you and a steady job that puts food on the table, if you're strong and able, Man, be grateful" Be Grateful - The Farm Inc.

"Every storm runs, runs out of rain, just like every dark night has its day. Every heartache will fade away. Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain." Every Storm Run Out of Rain- Gary Allen 

Yesterday Pandora played a September 11th song that made me cry all over again, even 11 years later:

"Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor? In a crowded room did you feel alone? Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her? Did you dust off that Bible at home? Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened, close your eyes and not go to sleep?" Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning? - Alan Jackson

 There is a lot of truth in the lyrics:

"Funny how a melody sounds like a memory" Springsteen- Eric Church 

(That's just good poetry no matter who you are.)

And it also reminds me of how I want to love and be loved:

"I'm a long gone Waylon song on vinyl. I'm a back row sinner at a tent revival. She believes in me like she believes her Bible. She loves me like Jesus does." She Loves Me Like Jesus Does- Eric Church

"I am a short fuse, I am a wrecking ball, crashing into your heart like I do. You're like a Sunday morning, full of grace and full of Jesus. I wish that I could be more like you. I'm hard to love, hard to love, I don't make it easy. I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. I'm hard to love, hard to love. You say that you need me. I don't deserve it, but I love that you love me." Hard to Love- Lee Bryce

Especially in that last quote: "You're like a Sunday morning, full of grace and full of Jesus." Whoa. Honestly, I'm happy I switched over to country for a bit just so I could hear that one line. I want that. I want to be that. I want someone to believe that of me.

And in the meantime I'm awful happy that someone had the guts to put it into a song without irony.