November 1st- Nathan

I suppose it is a bit cliche to use my husband as the first person I'm grateful for, but it's true. There have been several times when we weren't sure what the future was going to hold for us... especially in the last year, and I don't think I will ever stop being grateful for every day that I see his handsome mug. Cancer and it's possible outcomes are not something that anyone should ever have to face... especially at 24 years old, but those who do, know how daunting just living out each day can seem, and how unspeakably glad you are to see progress and hope. And Nathan has soldiered on with such strength and endurance and a smile (though I know that sometimes he could only have been smiling with his outside). And when it comes right down to it, what concerns him the most is not his health- but me. He wants to make sure I'm ok. He wants to protect me. He wants to comfort and take care of me. I don't know that I have done anything to deserve that kind of love, but I sincerely hope I can live up to it. I didn't date in high school. Heck, I didn't really even date in college.... I just fell head over heels for my first real boyfriend and never looked back. I don't think I made a mistake, though. I mean any guy who will write you a haiku for every hour of your anniversary is pretty darn special... especially when he actually writes you 25 because he knows you will be bummed out at midnight the day after your anniversary.

There is so little I can actually do to help Nathan when he is hurt or not feeling well, but I do all that I can, and long to take some of it away. I miss pre-cancer, but I wouldn't give him up for anything. I don't know anyone else who laughs as hard at my jokes or thinks I'm as adorable or appreciates me just as I am. I don't even know what story to tell because there are so many. I guess I will tell the story of when I realized that Nathan was someone special... I apologize if you've heard this story umpteen times, I think it's one of my favorites, and appropriately it happened on Thanksgiving. I'm not really sure if this took place on Thanksgiving of 2003 or 2004 (I think 2004 but I can't guarantee it)- regardless we were living in Scholars. I worked the front desk the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving so I didn't leave for home until Wednesday morning. Unfortunately, I had really really bad luck with cars in college and I got to Lebanon and then my car broke down. It broke down so hard the mechanic told me I would be better off buying a new car rather than getting this one fixed. So I was stranded in Lebanon, and used AAA to tow myself and my car back to Springfield. Obviously, I was devastated by not being able to go home for Thanksgiving, and I didn't know what to do. After going to my room and crying for a while I decided to see if anyone was still in the dorm. It was mainly deserted but I knew that Nathan's plans meant that he was still around. I went down to his room and knocked and his suite mate was still there. We chatted for a few seconds and then Nathan came out of his room, where he'd been sleeping. He saw me and looked really confused and asked me why I was still there....and I gave a really fast answer and bolted from their room cause I was about to start crying. He followed me and gave me a hug and told me that I was going to come to his family's Thanksgiving and that I shouldn't even try to argue, because there was no use. He was going to call his mom, right now, and let her know. So I went and though I missed my family, his family was very sweet to me and so welcoming to an unexpected stranger who was crashing their event. I had a great time and never felt like an outsider or unwelcome in the slightest. That Thanksgiving went from the worst one ever to my fondest Thanksgiving memory, because of one man. How could I not be grateful for him? And the next year (or maybe the one after?) I came back as his girlfriend, then as his fiance, and then as his wife. How's that for a romantic comedy montage?