Written so early in the day you might be smart to fear body snatchers...

Early blog today-- everyone who reads this is still awake! Maybe I'll post this at midnight or so, just so I don't throw off your groove... or maybe this will just be a bonus post... or maybe I'll post it when I'm ready to post it, and ya'll will just have to deal with the consequences. But, just so you know, it's 5:20.... in the afternoon/evening... afterevening? Either word, it's a good 10 hours before when I normally post. Memorial Day weekend makes us do wild and crazy things! Like write in the "royal we"!

There is a dime on the floor before you go into my bedroom. I could pick it up multiple times every day, but I don't. Why? 1) It kinda makes me feel rich, even though I am not, to just have money laying around my floor. And 2) It's my own tiny form of rebellion against the dime. You can't make me pick you up! I have the power! Whahahaha!

I think I am too often alone.

I am wearing shorts right now, despite Springfield's crazy pants weather. I shaved my legs and applied self tanner that I'm hoping won't streak on me, and I'm letting my legs see the light of day.... and in the light of day I can see the many many places where I missed with my razor. A dear friend of mine gets her hair lasered away, and soon she will have no hair on her legs. She is already underarm hair free... I aspire to be like her someday. Perhaps I will never then be able to fit in with stereotypical French women, but to them I say "Viva la revolucion!" and also, "By the way what's the secret to being so skinny? I don't want to read the book."

Ok, Yes, I know, you don't have to tell me that getting my hair lasered  away will put me at a distinct disadvantage if ever I'm lost in the frozen tundra, but this is a risk I'm willing to take. I just live life on the edge. You see, Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. (anyone? ... Bueller?)

Sometimes spellcheck tells me I've typed something wrong, but if I look at their list and don't see the word I was going for I just assume the spell check isn't as well learned as I and ignore it. (Please pronounce the word learned in the previous sentence learn-ned... Sounds much snootier and demonstrates my superiority over mundane spell check programs more efficiently.) You know the same programs that just helped me spell efficiently correctly... twice.