A Case of Emotional Chicken Pox

Well, I got my dishes done. Even the ones that have to be done by hand. That seems like a pretty large accomplishment.

I'm also trying out a new shampoo and conditioner. It's got keratin in it to supposedly heal damage and breakage of hair.  I need it because I have long hair and long hair gets split ends. I hate split ends.

Seriously, have I ever talked about how weirdly OCD I am about split ends? It's a little disturbing, honestly. I can sit and stare at the ends of my hair for hours, picking and breaking off the split ends.  Pretty sure it's actually terrible for my hair, but it's completely obsessive compulsive.  I do it all the time. Whenever I start blogging and have to think for a second about how I want to word something I pull a section of hair in front of my eyes and look for split ends without even thinking. Or if I'm just sitting around doing nothing... I mean I guess I'm glad I don't pull out my eyelashes or something, but it's still weird and something I have to really fight not to do when I zone out.

But anyway, I started talking about that because I took out my braid and I was surprised at how good my new shampoo and conditioner smell.

 Nathan and I had a lot of little scripts that we would repeat all the time and one of them was:

Nathan: Your hair smells good.
Me: You always say that.
Nathan: It always smells good!

I've been missing him so much the past two days, and craving touch in a way that I haven't since just after he died. I literally have had to keep myself from randomly leaning on/hugging/petting friends. I've done a little of it without even thinking about it the past few days-- (Sorry if that was you and I invaded your personal space!) I was telling Kara earlier that it's like I have emotional chicken pox, and it's totally maddening. All I want to do is to connect, to touch, to not feel so darn uptight about physical contact, but you shouldn't scratch when you have chickenpox. It will only make it worse and give you scars.

Doesn't make me any less frustrated, though.