Echoes

Ok, so I saw Breaking Dawn Pt 1 today. And it was really great... and I'm really glad that Melissa and Lindsay went with me, cause I'm not sure when I ever would have seen it without them. It was a good movie, and I'm ready to see the second part, for sure.

but I realized something at the end of the movie... something that colored it all for me.

**Breaking Dawn Spoilers Below. Don't keep reading if you care!**

Having a vampire baby is a lot like have a bone marrow transplant.

I was watching Bella shrink... become so emancipated... watching the already-thin girl's cheeks hollow out... watching the dark circles show up, watching the bones protrude more and more and more... and then I heard someone go "uuuugh" in this disgusted voice... and I looked at the screen and realized that until that moment, watching that girl become a walking skeleton seemed.... while not healthy... not all that shocking or gross. Cause I've seen that happen to someone before. Someone I loved very much. I saw him at 98 pounds.

98 pounds.

And then I saw his stomach start to bulge from the steriods until it looked like he was pregnant. We called it the steriod baby. And suddenly I found myself totally identifying with Edward when I never have before.  Just wanting to get rid of the thing that's hurting my spouse. It never occured to me that they might use cancer patients as an inspiration for what someone would look like when being "eaten up from the inside out." But they sure got it right... and then she dies... and they lay her out all pretty...

It's supposed to be Thanksgiving.

This is supposed to be such a great holiday. One of my favorites.

It just really sucks that the days that used to be the best days now are the worst.

I'm really ready to be able to live life without seeing echoes of cancer everywhere I look.