Is unhappiness required to create good art?
Something I began to wonder about today. Something about sadness.. about hardship... about suffering makes a person need to express themselves. Something about all that makes you motivated to get it out. For me, to write. For someone else, to paint. For someone else, to dance. But you can write or paint or dance when you are happy. Is there something to the poignancy of the heart that you put into a work when everything else in your life seems to be unhappy? Is it easier for others to connect with pain than with happiness?
The boy who you like doesn't talk to you as much that day. You sit down and write a 20 page treatise on the pain of the human experience.
You hate your job. You sit down and write a 10 page imagining of what would happen if you quit tomorrow.
You are lonely. You sit down and write friends.
Maybe it's not even unhappiness that's required, so much as a restlessness of the soul. When I was content I had no motivation. All I really wanted was to be. Now I hunger for something more... and maybe that's what is needed to achieve.
overall I'd rather be blissfully happy though.
Who is this girl? This girl who writes on this blog? I don't know her. She reminds me of someone I knew once but something happened to her... and this girl took her place... and I don't know where she came from, but she likes things that I never expected and she says things that seem to come out of nowhere.
It's all saints day... I'm not catholic, but I am remembering... It's a lot easier when I pretend the other me didn't exist. When I pretend my life went straight from mid-college to now.
Just to lay my head on his chest and for him to stroke my hair.
Every minor frustration leads me back here... I know how to be happy without Nathan... I don't know how to be sad or frustrated or nervous or scared.
It's not so lofty of a dream, which I think is what makes it hurt so much.
Please, God, turn the page? Let's finish this chapter and start a new one? Please.
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