I have amazing nail polish. It's pink... but it's also a rainbow. I'm not even joking. I bought it because I saw pictures, but when I got it, I thought it wouldn't be cause the bottle just makes it look like glittery pink, but then you put it on your nails and this is what it looks like:
Seriously I use the slang of my grandmother's generation. *and I don't even mean to.* I referred to someone as a dreamboat the other day.... only it was in my head, which means that it wasn't ironic cause you aren't normally ironic when you are just thinking to yourself. No, I just actually think he's a dreamboat.
Dreamboat... how is that even supposed to be a good thing. Like dreamy I get, but dreamboat? Apparently it's from a song "When My Dream Boat Comes Home" -a 1936 song credited to Guy Lombardo.
Thanks youtube:
I kinda like music from the 30's...and not just because I was in a WWII musical review show once upon a time.
I also like Michael Buble dancing on top of refrigerator units and shelves...
This music video revives this song for me. Someone pointed out how well it actually works to talk about an unborn baby, and that's all I've been able to associate with it, since. But now I can also associate awesome supermarket shenanigans with it.
Ok, so ... I went to the last "real" class today, and I worked. Then I went out with a friend from the class for an early dinner, then I came home and accidentally took a 4 hour (or so) nap...then I got up and made myself second dinner, cause it had been like 6 hours since I'd eaten... then I watched some Netflix and then I caught myself up on facebook and facebook is where I found this:
It's a bit self-indulgent, but you are going to have to bear with me. This video is so Nathan. He would have been absolutely delighted with it and so much of it reminds me of him. Well, you all know by now that acapella music and Nathan are pretty well inseparable in my mind... this time last year we were watching episodes of The Sing-Off in Barnes-Jewish. Granted this is more intricate than the hymns and barbershop that he liked best, but it's still acapella... and it's a bunch of Jewish guys singing about Hanukkah. We were at Barnes-Jewish during Hanukkah last year. Paula and I got dreydlekh. (that's the plural of dreidel- I looked it up.) And if that weren't enough, the whole thing is a strange near-rap about a religious holiday... that alone would have been enough to give my religious studies beau a kick.
All of that on it's own makes this video throb of Nathan... and then you see the little pop-up ad at the very end that tells you to follow a link to "join the Maccabeats Miracle Match Campaign."
Sure enough. That whole video is encouraging people to get put on the National Bone Marrow Donor registry-- well, especially Jewish people, but everyone.
Ach, I miss him.
I miss his excitement about stuff, and I miss having someone to talk to and not being alone if I don't make plans, and not having to drive everywhere, and just having someone to love and someone who loved me.
I'm doing so well, and I'm dealing so well, but it still sucks.. and I really wish I had the right someone to come and fill some of this void.
Someone tell me why the times when the grief hits the hardest are the times when I'm the most well-rested? What's up with that???
Hey, do me a favor. Click here and register to be a possible bone marrow donor. It doesn't matter that you haven't done it yet. I *just* got on it... but you could be someone's match... someone's miracle. You could save someone's life and save someone who loves that person from feeling the "sharp knife of a short life."
Oh, yeah, bonus fun fact about the video... It's made by the Maccabeats- Nathan's best friends growing up and still some of Paula's close friends: The McAfees (prounounced "Maccafees") I keep thinking I've heard of this group before, but I'm pretty sure that's just because I've heard McAfee so many times.
Gorgeous day in sunny MO... Right now, at 12:40, my phone tells me it is still 73 degrees... that's a good day.
There are so many good days out there... so many days with gorgeous weather and people jogging and walking their dogs and the like...The day that Nathan died it got to 70 degrees... January 29th. 70 degrees... It's like the weather gave him a going away party... and then it threw itself a pity party after he was gone, and dumped a blizzard on us. Nathan left as the sun rose... He proposed to me as the sun rose, too... Those are two sunrises I think I'll never forget. I think I'll prefer the sunset for a long time to come.
Apparently my mind is going for a stream of consciousness blog tonight. Fair enough.
I shared some of my Mercedes Lackey collection with a friend tonight... I hope to get her hooked and have another convert on my side. I think odds are good since she also loves Tamora Pierce. Ach, Tamora freaking Pierce. I still read her new stuff when she comes out with it... if only she were as prolific as Ms. Lackey.
Realized the other day that I'm now a Ms. And I thought going from Miss to Mrs. was weird. Luckily I don't have to be called by that every day like I did when I was teaching.... Seriously, Miss Miller sounded so ancient.... Like the nanny of the chipettes on The Great Chipmunk Adventure. This fun movie from the 80's... you know, before they had to bastardize everything and CGI it... noooo, I'm not bitter at all that they took my beloved chipmunks and made them sing the Single Ladies song... Take the "Ladies" out of the chipmunks and put it back into Glee where it belongs!
Just don't tell Losiah that he can't be a single lady... It just breaks my little heart.
Now it's raining... not a big horrible storm..... Just the drip drip drop of little April showers, beating a tune as it falls all around... I hated the Bambi movie growing up... but I'll be darned if I don't think of quotes from it all the time.
ok, last video, and then I'm off to bed.
Love you all, like a beautiful day and then a gently falling rain.
So I've become obsessed with a song... I play it on repeat constantly. I need to just buy the song on itunes, rather than playing it over and over on youtube. I posted it on facebook last night, and then my sister pointed out that my comment on the actual video is one of the 2 most liked comments, tonight... People are so nice. Be careful... it might make you cry... It doesn't really make me cry, strangely... It's actually comforting, which I'm not sure makes any sense at all, but there you have it... I also love that in the lyrics he asks to be turned into a rainbow... it's like I was meant to love this song.
I hope that link actually works... I've never added a video to my blog before.
I actually did a little bit of exercise last night, on the Wii... I was planning on doing some more tonight but as it is 12:20 that may not happen.... Hey if I'm not going to eat right seems like a good 30 minutes or so spent trying to land on targets in a chicken costume and biking around an imaginary island couldn't hurt, right? I did put on a pair of jeans this morning that used to be tight on me, and they fit perfectly... but I don't think that was due to my "working out"...
There is definitely more cleaning and straightening that should be going on in my life... But I'm not doing it... I'd rather be hanging out with people...or reading a book... or blogging... or avoiding cleaning and straightening.
Today I had a Mayan Mocha cupcake from "The Cup." By the way they had a contest to name a St. Patrick day cupcake and they said the winner would be released on March 1st... and they didn't announce them until 7 o'clock on the 2nd... AND I didn't win. What the cup?! *giggle* see what I did there? I think I'm funny.... ANYWAY Mayan Mocha.. I'm still not sure how I feel about it... Here is the description, "Light chocolate cake with a hint of cinnamon and a peppery finish topped with baked brown sugar, espresso butter cream, and caramel-drizzled mini marshmallows." All these things are kinda true... the chocolate was light, but there was more than a hint of cinnamon and I felt like the icing was where the "peppery" finish was... it wasn't bad... but... it was strange. I think I'll be sticking to the Red Velvet.
I wished that I winked more in real life... I wink all the time in text. ;) but I never wink in real life and I think that's a shame. I always feel awkward, so I don't do it.... but seriously how much fun is winking? It's like the outward symbol of an inside joke and inside jokes are fun (when you are on the inside)... Seriously people, we need to bring back the wink in all it's subtle glory. Maybe I'll try to find a person a day to wink at... or maybe I'll forget this as soon as I go to sleep... but hey a girl can dream, can't she? I think Martin Luther King Jr. said it best when he said, "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created to wink.'" Ya know, or something like that... Right guys? ...... right? *looks around* .....guys?
*raises fist in the air* Bring back the wink!
By the way, there is going to be a fundraiser for the memorial fund put on by the Religious Studies Club. I can't believe how incredibly generous people have already been, but they contacted me and told me that they would like to do this. It will be April 7th at the Panera that is close to campus from 5-8, I believe. So if you are in Springfield that day and need to eat dinner, maybe you can come out... OK I feel weird talking about it, so I'm probably not gonna mention it again until like the day before. Ugh I'm gonna put this at the end of the blog so it's not the first thing people see... awwwkward.
My aunt says she misses my blogs... I'm not sure if she is ok with me mentioning her name on my blog so let's just say she is named after something that you call a morning and it rhymes with Yawn.... as you may be able to tell from my hints I don't think she'll mind. So here ya go, Auntie Dearest! *wave*
See the problem is, I got a new video game... and it's highly addictive. Add this to the fact that Nathan has been on the new desktop a lot to set it up and type his paper (He's done with his coursework, now!! "Just" a thesis to go!) and you get a girl who is slacking in the blogging department.
So I've been walking in the mornings with my dear chum... whose name is kinda like a measure of gold, only without a "t" and rhymes with Sara. This is the third week I've been doing it. The first week we walked every day (Mon-Fri) except for the Wednesday. (It was after Nathan's party and I managed to get a horrible crick in my neck and only got 3 hours of sleep so I had to beg off and catch a few more winks) The second week we walked Mon and Friday, as my pal- Let's call her Miss Molly, had to be out of town and then this week we will walk every day, except tomorrow cause Nathan and I are going to St. Louis. I am proud of Miss Molly and I. It's not Cross Fit by any stretch of the imagination, but it is the most consistent exercise I've done for about a year. I like walking.... mainly because it's exercise I can chit-chat during and at the end I'm not sweaty... I really hate being sweaty. ugh. But you wanna know the kicker? We walk at 7 in the morning. See! You have to admit you are a little more impressed, now. I hate mornings! You see Miss Molly doesn't want to run into a ridiculous about of campus traffic, so we go early to beat the hoards of swarming college students. It's early but at least I don't have to worry about people eavesdropping on our fabulous conversations! I don't know if I've actually lost any weight... I probably should have gotten on a scale/ should get on one... but even in weight loss I lack ambition... Nathan and I have sworn off "The Cup" for 2 weeks... ok, so mainly it was me, and Nathan said, "I don't know if I can promise that." But that was pretty much cause we were spending way too much money there rather for any true dietary concerns.
The last few days have really got me to thinking about everything that we went through last year. There are just so many things that people can't understand unless it happens to them.... There are so many thoughts that you never want to face, so many conversations that no one should ever have to have, and so much miserable stuff that you just slog through... And then you find yourself looking back one day and saying.... 60 days? He was in the hospital for 60 days? And you become super aware of the leaves changing color, because he wasn't here to see them at this time last year. And really excited about Halloween costumes, cause you weren't really interested in them last year, and you tear up the first time he takes out the trash for you... And you are just so incredibly grateful for every single moment, because while you may not have lived the worst that could happen, you have had to face it.... and boring is such bliss. Now, feel free to go kiss your babies (fun-sized, adult-sized, or pet sized) after my incredibly moving soliloquy. Heck, go kiss a stranger... but only on the cheek like an overzealous 80-year old Irish man in a pub rooting for a sports team... and ask them first... cause I imagine those dudes give wet cheek kisses.
Today Nathan had to get a dressing change, so we went to the South side of town. While there we went to the mall as well, cause I had 15 dollars in JC penny gift cards burning a hole in my pocket and when I say 15 dollars what I actually mean is 3 cards with 15 dollars each on them, because my (paternal) Grandma buys them in bulk for her very large family and sends them out for birthdays and anniversaries... only my mom hardly ever shops at JC Penny so I got their anniversary gift card for my birthday (Thanks, Mom!) and then I got one from grandma for my birthday (a week? late) and then I got *another* one for my birthday last week. Apparently Grandma just remembered the being late part and not that she actually mailed me something already, so I got a double portion of Birthday.... and I didn't tell her. This might make me a bad person, but I didn't want to say, "uhhhh Grandma, you already gave me one of these..." that just seems rude... and I *like* JC Penny!
What do you think? Should I go out and slash some car tires cause I'm already an evil person, or do you think it's forgivable? Well, forgivable or not, I'm now the proud owner of 4 new tank camisoles (with lace!!) and a zip up sweater jacket hoodie. That's 5 articles of clothing for 10 dollars a piece plus tax. (Literally- pre tax it was 49.99.) Not as good as 4 for $30, but everything I bought was slightly more than 50% off so I think it's a great deal. Plus I can never find lace-edged tank tops that work for my body type, so this makes me super jazzed. Ya wanna know the problem? While it is September, it is not cold enough out there for my sweater jacket... meaning it's going to have to languish in my closet until that fall chill is in the air... Only I want to wear it now.. Do you think that I can convince Nathan to turn down the air conditioner just so I can wear my new clothes?? I love new clothes! It's finally raining, but it's been so long since I bought my rain boots that I keep forgetting about them. I don't want my sweater to be the new rain boot! (Plus imagine how soggy that would be. ewww.)
I bought a purple tank top... This makes me nervous because people who like the color purple are *very* devoted to it... and if you wear it they think you are a devotee as well. So they come up to you and gush about how much they love that color and isn't it the greatest color and about all the purple clothes they have ever owned and how it's their favorite color in the world and the whole time you are thinking... "I just own it cause I think it looks good on me... I don't even like purple that much." I almost didn't try it on, because I'm so paranoid about these people... but then I did, cause I tried on every color and darn it if it didn't look good on me... so I got it. But if you come up to me and tell me you like my purple tank top don't be surprised if I eye you suspiciously and then sidle away from you.
Also, Katie led me to this gem today.
The funny thing about it is that the source material is just as crazy as the song-- all they had to do was set it to music. Shatner wasn't actually edited or "re-mixed" all that much. How has this man had a career for this long!?! Don't get me wrong I love Captain Kirk.... but Shatner is looney tunes! Alright... I don't think anything can follow that, honestly. So I'll see you tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel.
