I am Crafter. Hear me roar!

I really like making stuff.

Tonight I made a painting...

Well, I made a painting after getting paint all over my clothes, and then- when taking off my tank top- all over my face.

If I had a husband he would have been chuckling fondly at me. If not straight out guffawing loudly at me.

I was a right mess.

I should have taken a picture.

Oh well. After getting myself slightly cleaned up, I made a painting.

 

Cool, right!? On facebook I linked to this guy's youtube where he time lapsed this painting... So I watched the video and then I painted my version.  Ohhh yeah, I'm that good. PLUS I did it without a fan brush, cause I don't own any. :)

It's really strange how much easier it is for me to paint something from a picture rather than from real life. 

The idea was for it to go into this frame.

 But I don't think I'm sold on it... Not sure that there is a high enough contrast between the frame and the picture. I may try painting something else... but don't worry I won't paint over it- I love this painting... I may just have to hang it without a frame.

Speaking of hanging things in frames... Check out what I did the other night! I glued some fabric in a 4 dollar frame.

I think that looks pretty great! (It actually looks better in person I think. The red doesn't turn so pink.)

Progress!

I swear I'll get my place decorated yet!.

And when I do, I'm sure I'll take pictures to show off to you.

Moving Day

Things that I have considered after driving away from Kara's empty apartment:

How painful the lump in my throat was.

How I would drive if I started crying.

How much I love Kara.

How much I love Josh.

How much I love Josh and Kara.

How much I love Bolt.

How much ice cream I have in my freezer.

How much ice cream a person can eat in a night.

How large the lack of "Warm Delights" in my pantry looms.

How I should go to the grocery store to buy out all the Warm Delights.

How to make my own Warm Delight cause who needs Betty Freaking Crocker?!?

***P.S. After one attempt at making a single serving "mug brownie," I can say who needs Betty Crocker. I do. Also, from here on out ice cream is living in the deep freeze. The defrost function is murder on ice cream when you don't eat it fast enough.

 In all seriousness, though.... Today was the day. Now some people might not know that Kara is coming back for the last weekend in August. You see they can't get their house in Philly until Sept. 5th, and also Kara and I have a 10 year friend-a-versary to celebrate. So, today wasn't the for-real goodbye... at least not for us....

but still... don't think that I didn't notice that the day my best friend moved away from Springfield is exactly one and a half years after my husband died. And in a strange way that put things into perspective for me.

Cause I know what a "permanent" goodbye feels like... and this isn't it. When I miss Kara, I won't be able to just drive over to her house... but I can call or e-mail or text or-- in a dire emergency-- drive to the airport and get on a plane.  Kara isn't gone from my life. I will visit her. She will come back for my wedding. (You know, to the guy I'm not even dating, yet. ;) )  She will know my children. I will know hers.

That's not to say that I'm not likely to sit down and have a good cry at some point.

But Kara's not gone from my life. Not even a little bit.

And she's doing what God's called her to do.

And I happen to think God knows what He's doing, even when it hurts.

10 of 30

Early blog tonight. One because I'm tired, Two because I need to shower, and Three because I have to do something to my nails before tomorrow morning.

Went to Kara's apartment and packed with her and her mom and sister and grandma for about 6 hours... it was fun but I'm pretty wiped out now... I think that physical labor is more exhausting when you are also trying to stay emotionally steady.

Emotional stability was had, but I'm tuckered out.

Also I've done an awful lot of Bolt throwing around lately and that's a workout. Go, go upper arm strength!

So I guess I'll throw out number 10 on the list really quick:

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

 Here's the thing... I don't know what my most embarrassing moment is. I have either blocked it from my memory because it was *that* embarrassing or I don't get embarrassed very easily....

Actually I think I get embarrassed relatively easily, but I don't recall it as embarrassing... I recall it as funny. So I don't know when I was most embarrassed cause it's such a fleeting thing.

Sorry, I know you might think this is a cop-out, but it's the truth!

Here- I'll make up a story... one time I met the President of the United States and I said, "It's nice to meet you, Madame President. " It was terrible.

Dang, even my fake embarrassment is rubbish.

Things of Excitement

We had a surprise party for Josh and Kara tonight... well, we surprised Josh. Kara was in on it.

Aaaand I'm pretty sure I will discuss this in more depth on Sunday evening... but not tonight.

Tonight I will tell you things of excitement.

1) My birthday is next week.  I'm turning 29... or 24, depending on how you look at it.

2) I'm finally registered for the Advanced Writing- Fiction class that I wanted!

3) The text for the AWF class that I just got into is the 2012 Moon City Review.... the one that I'm published in. *grin* That makes me feel so freaking cool! I'm sure it's just for reference, but still... makes a girl happy.

4) I found an 11x17 frame (Target was out when I went back. :-| I know! Right!?!) Walmart had my back, though.

5) My GA-ship is finally official!! I'm going to be the GA in the Training and Documentation Department of Computer Services. Huzzah for one more load off my mind!

6) I'm going to be speaking in church... on August 12th. Yeah, I know. So soon. Tim asked me to speak at the end of October... but then he reconsidered because he said that he wanted to be here for it and that's the Sunday right after his vacation, so now he doesn't have to prepare a sermon on vacation, he can be there, plus he thinks the timing is right for our church.... which I kinda feel, too.  I'm a little nervous... but excited... but nervous... this one isn't going to be like any other talk that I would give, because it's based so much out of my story. And I think you know how important it is to me. Hopefully my message can come across as clearly and as powerfully as I want it to. But I suppose that's more up to God than it is up to me. :) But feel free to come.... Feel free to invite your friends... feel free to invite people that you don't really even know that well, but think might be halfway interested. :)

And this is a bit random, but here is a song I found on a fellow young-widow blog...

I've been constantly playing it since I first pushed play... It might make you cry- but in that good, healing kind of way.

9 of 30

By the by- I hit 50,000 views the other day. That's kinda awesome.

The List

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

1) Nathan
How... How has Nathan influenced me? In nearly every conceivable way. Nathan brought out a lot of the best in me. He convinced me that I was beautiful and I learned what a good and healthy relationship is with him. I learned how to love and how to be loved, and if that isn't soul-altering I don't know what is.

2) Kara
The thing about Kara is that she's bossy... but the thing about me is that I need a little bossy-ness in my life.  One of Kara's strengths is that she is an activator. So she will "boss me" into stuff that I really want to do, but am too shy or too afraid to do. She's the perfect excuse that no one ever really asks me for, but I can keep in my back pocket if questioned about. She also has increased my confidence level by about a million percent. She thinks that I'm the greatest friend ever, and while I don't believe that- having someone constantly telling you so, means that you at least think that you are worth people getting to know.

3) My Parents
 Ummmm how do I even begin to list the ways that my parents have influenced me? Between them and God my personality came into existence... so I will just mention a few things. They are the reason I'm the strong silent type. They are the reason I have such a deep and abiding faith. They are the reason I am creative and funny and love learning/reading. They are the reason for so much!

4) Rhonda
Rhonda also has had an incredible influence on my life, obviously. She taught me patience.... not because she was so trying as a little sister, but because the way to make her the angriest was to remain calm cool and collected in the face of her temper. :)(I know, I was such an ornery big sister!) She also taught me how to be less annoying, though I'm not really sure that all of that sunk in... and I think that in a lot of ways Rhonda kick-started my empathy.  When you have someone who is so similar to you and yet *so* different... and also so close to you... well in a lot of ways you are forced into seeing the world from someone else's eyes. And that's a pretty important life skill... and something I prize pretty highly in myself.

5) Dawn
I'm 12 years younger than my aunt Dawn, but I always felt like she was just as much my friend as my aunt. Dawn spent so much time with Rhonda and I as we were growing up and that was invaluable. To have a "cool" adult so invested in me and so excited to spend time with me. ...At the time I didn't realize how important it was to who I was becoming... but important it was, indeed. At the time I just knew that I was really lucky to be the girl who was related to Dawn.

6) My cousins
My cousins were my first friends. And they still number among my best friends. My cousin Wyatt talks about how the most fun he has ever had was with his family. And he's got a point. We had some amazing times... I've laughed so hard with them. My cousins were the first people who I was ever myself with and they thought(think) I'm awesome (as I think they are) And when I was growing up and being awkward and going through all sorts of self-esteem issues with my peers at school... well I always had my cousin's love to fall back on, and I never had to doubt that. I think it's because of them that I've never really questioned my self-worth. I remember one night in particular with all of us piled in the back of a pickup truck with blankets and pillows talking and laughing and joking on a chilly fall night while our parents were inside our grandmother's house. I kinda wish we didn't have to all grow up and go our separate ways.

7) Mrs Couch
Mrs. Couch was my Drama teacher in high school. And I was her favorite student. No, really, she said as much when I went back one year for her 10 year celebration of teaching at my school. Ok, I'm sure I wasn't her only favorite student, but I'm certain I was one of them. Mrs. Couch wasn't always the most popular teacher in the school. She set high expectations and expected them to be met, and she didn't let you feel ok about it if you didn't. She was at times abrasive, and I think that put some people off, but I loved her. She was my director in over 10 shows and you always knew that even if you were working like crazy to put on the show, she was working harder and I really respect that.
 
8) Ann Luther
Ann is possibly the sweetest lady I've ever met. She is also the most talented pianist I've ever met. She played piano for our church... and for the Community Theater shows... and for the kids' theatre shows... and put together an extracurricular singing group for high school girls (Ann's Girls)... She has always been so kind and encouraging and lovely to me. She was shocked and sad that I'm not on the worship team at my church because she thinks my voice is so great. She always encouraged me to be in the theatre shows. She took Nathan and I out to lunch one year when we were in town for my family 4th of July, and just kept telling him how special  and beautiful I was and how special he must be for me to choose him. I don't know why this lady took such an interest in encouraging me, but it has certainly influenced me.

9) Tim
I don't think you can work in a church for 4 years and not be influenced by the pastor. I think the thing that Tim has changed in me the most is believing in the value of my opinion. We do not think the same, Tim and I. Not even a little bit. And he really valued(s) that in me. Tim trusts me and has often used me as a sounding board for his thoughts-in part just because I was there, but in part because he wants the different viewpoint and he doesn't disqualify my thoughts just because I arrive at them by intuition or feeling. It's really affirming.

10) Ryan
 Someone had to be the first to suggest that I make a career out of this whole writing thing, right? Well, that was Ryan. And it was before I had a blog or a book in the works. It was before most people even knew that I could write. It was all because I wrote a comment on a picture that he posted on fb. And then after Nathan had passed away and I was freaking out about what I was going to do with my life, he brought it up again. And then he put money where his mouth was and hired me to do copy-writing for his video game company, even though I don't have a degree in it (yet!) And that said more to me about his belief in my talent than any pep-talk could. I don't know if he can read everyone this well, but Ryan doesn't put up with any excuses that I give that are based in my fear and not so long ago I was talking to him about something and he said to me, "I'm not going to give you an excuse to not do this, if that's what you're looking for." He's almost all thinker on the thinker-feeler spectrum, and so his "encouragement" is less "You can do this! I believe in you!" and more like, "Why are you even asking me about this? Of course you can do it. What are you waiting for?" But sometimes that matter-of-fact line of thinking is exactly what I need.

8 of 30

Did you think I'd forgotten the list?

I haven't

8. What are 5 passions you have?


I don't know for sure how to answer this one though....

Can I just say "people," 5 times?

Yeah, I know, it's cheating- But people really are what I'm most passionate about.

So I'm just going to throw that one out all together cause you know it, and I know it, and good grief I could talk about it forever and ever and ever. So besides people...

1. Laughter. I know it sounds dumb but I'm really passionate about laughter. Laughing makes people feel comfortable. It builds friendships, it reduces stress, it relieves tensions, it helps heal your heart in the very worst of situations. I really think that laughter is good for your soul and I look for ways to trigger it, and I look for people who trigger it in me. And then I just revel in it.

2. Art. I went back and forth for a while on whether I should just call this "color" but I think that the use of color is just as important as the actual colors themselves... and there is so much more to art than color... line and movement and form and shade, and I love and appreciate it all and want to be constantly surrounded by it. I place artistic talent very high on my list of "most impressive skills."

3. Books, reading, and a well-told story. Says the girl who wants to be a novelist... But I don't even realize this one until I start to read something poorly written and everything in me just cringes up in disbelief

4. Costumes... I can't help it! They are just so much fun! Seriously- half of the time when I'm getting dressed for the day I'm thinking of it in terms of a costume

5. Sharing my story - and hope... (If I'm lucky- these two things overlap) I believe so strongly that God has a plan. And I somehow in the midst of everything I've found this wellspring of joy and hope. And ach do I want to share that with people.

A Chain of Events

On Sunday I got my Blackbird Cathedral poster.

Today, I went to Target for many things and thought I'd look for a frame there.

But I realized I'd forgotten to look after I'd left the store.

But that's ok, I thought. I'll go to Hobby Lobby. Surely they'll have a frame there.

So I went to Hobby Lobby and it turns out that an 11x17 frame is not all that common.

But I bought this gorgeous ornate white frame, that I can put a painting in... or perhaps a mirror.

And I bought a 12x24 frame because it cost 3.99, and I figured that for 3.99 I could make art to fit it.

I left and thought, perhaps I'll cheat and find a poster and not have to make art.

I got on allposters.com and promptly found 4 posters (2 for only 2.99!) that I liked, and I ordered them.

A Monet, A Van Gogh, and 2 Muchas

None of them were the right size for my empty frame.

In fact, I didn't find anything that I liked in the size of my empty frame. I think I've decided to find or use some fabric in the frame.

Then I thought about all the art in my house I have that needs a home on a wall. So I put up a bunch of misc. art/ photos in my hallway.

And decided that I have a few pictures that I don't like the art anymore, but the frame is nice so I need to change the art to something that goes with my house.

And while I was hanging things, I hung more nails in my necklace wall

And then I decided to create a line to put all my hair extensions on

Then I found this adorable old curmudgeon that I never made into anything, but I should.

So basically my project list exploded and now I have: 4 posters which will need frames, a big white frame that needs art, a black empty frame to fill with fabric, several frames that need to have something else inside them, a hallway full of pictures, a necklace wall and an extension wall, an adorable old curmudgeon, and my Blackbird Cathedral poster that started this all- still without a frame.

And after all that I sat back down and checked Target's website....

They have an 11x17 frame that would be exactly what I needed in stock.

 

What can I say?