Wintry

Well, I may or may not be going home tomorrow. It's in the plan, but it sorta depends on if I can leave my parent's house. This was what it looked like from the second floor this afternoon.

The road that I take to get back to Springfield (for the first 45 minutes or so) was "closed" today. It's not so much the snow (or so I'm told), it's the drifts.

In other news, I made a baby car-seat quilt in about 2 days. I'm pretty impressed with myself. Technically I still have to bind it, but I forgot to buy binding at Hobby Lobby last time when I was there, so I have to wait till I return home. It's not the most beautiful quilting job ever... I don't have a quilting sewing machine and I don't have much experience with quilting, but I think it will be serviceable for it's purpose. Luckily, Annika is young enough that she won't notice.

Anyway, it means that I finished everything that I was going to do while at home and I managed to do it with many hours to spare, and we made nut rolls which I wasn't planning on doing. And I feel very relaxed. It's good.

Oh and by the way, Kara is coming back to Missouri and I get to see her over the New Year!! It's a very very good winter break.

I am Crafter. Hear me roar!

I really like making stuff.

Tonight I made a painting...

Well, I made a painting after getting paint all over my clothes, and then- when taking off my tank top- all over my face.

If I had a husband he would have been chuckling fondly at me. If not straight out guffawing loudly at me.

I was a right mess.

I should have taken a picture.

Oh well. After getting myself slightly cleaned up, I made a painting.

 

Cool, right!? On facebook I linked to this guy's youtube where he time lapsed this painting... So I watched the video and then I painted my version.  Ohhh yeah, I'm that good. PLUS I did it without a fan brush, cause I don't own any. :)

It's really strange how much easier it is for me to paint something from a picture rather than from real life. 

The idea was for it to go into this frame.

 But I don't think I'm sold on it... Not sure that there is a high enough contrast between the frame and the picture. I may try painting something else... but don't worry I won't paint over it- I love this painting... I may just have to hang it without a frame.

Speaking of hanging things in frames... Check out what I did the other night! I glued some fabric in a 4 dollar frame.

I think that looks pretty great! (It actually looks better in person I think. The red doesn't turn so pink.)

Progress!

I swear I'll get my place decorated yet!.

And when I do, I'm sure I'll take pictures to show off to you.

Anyone? ... Bueller?

Does any one else, when a friend is leaving your house at night, wait to lock the door and turn off the porch light in case there is a serial killer in the driveway and your friend needs to run back into your house really fast to get away from the axe murderer?

That's just me, then?

Ok. Just checking.

Does anyone else go out and buy a replacement of something just so they can find the original that's been lost for months? (And this is actually an effective strategy?)

Just me, again?

Well, what about this-

Does anyone else leave a chair in the middle of the hallway so you won't forget to buy 9 volt batteries for your smoke detector, but then just climbs over the chair all the time and continually forgets the batteries?

Does anyone else take old clip on earrings and make them into magnets which you then refer to as "fridge bling?"

Does anyone else absolutely hate the way your upper arms look in pictures so you will randomly do arm circles like you used to when you were in high school PE only while sitting in your computer chair, to try and tone them up?

Does anyone else sometimes use "reading a book" as an excuse to go lay down in your bed where you know you will fall asleep within 30 minutes?

Does anyone else keep a stash of Gushers by their computer desk for their random fruit snack cravings?

Does anyone else eat all of the tropical flavor of said Gushers first so that they will only have the strawberry flavored ones eventually which are the clearly superior Gusher flavor?

Has anyone been able to track the development of their tastebuds through college into adulthood by the foods you suddenly realized you loved... or didn't love.

Does anyone else give babies empty Pepsi boxes as toys?

 
And then take lots and lots of pictures of the baby?

Does anyone else think Purple Burrito food is super duper duper bland?

Does anyone else care if they are like anyone else?

Or am I alone in the universe?

Procrastination at it's finest

Really *really* should be packing... so tonight I made Paula a bag... now granted, she may have requested this bag.... well over 6 months ago.... but who's counting silly things like that?

The important thing is that I got it done, right? And now I don't have that project looming over me. That's the important thing.

So I'm free now... free to focus on packing!

Oh and also it's quilted.

And I think I'm awesome.

OK, it's really not that big of a deal.... Not like journeyman level craftsmanship, even. But I like it... I think it's pretty.

Here are some pictures... I haven't put in the cord yet, because I had to make the ends nice, which takes some drying time.

Inside out (with cord laying on top

Partly inside out

Right side out

But if she wanted to, Paula could switch it... it's  relatively reversible like that. And now I gots to get to bed cause I'm going to the hairstylist in the morning!

TTFN!

Good Day and Dread Pirates

I had a good day. Woke up "late," but still early for late (10:00), showered, ate and watched a tv show.

I almost always watch a tv show while I eat if I'm at home. It makes me feel less alone. I don't know what widows did before there was tv/Netflix. It's my saving grace, so often! I would probably not eat alone if I didn't have tv... which doesn't sound terribly healthy.

Then around two I went to Starbucks and started writing-- 5 and 1/3 pages- Yesss! and in about 3 hours! I have to remind myself that while 5 pages in three hours may not seem that impressive, it's pretty good for me, especially when you take into consideration that I start by going back to the beginning of the chapter and reading what I already wrote, editing it, and then continuing on. It's easy to assume that writing is as fast as thinking.. or at worst, reading... it's not. It's actually a much slower process. I mean it takes me an awful long time to write an e-mail, and that doesn't even have a plot or a POV that I have to stick to! Though when I get in the zone it really can fly.-- both the time and the writing.

Random thought: I wonder if I ever become famous if I'll still be able to go to Starbucks to write or if I will have to make my own little writing retreat because my fans will be too needy. What I secretly hope is that I will become famous, and go to Starbucks, but everyone will just treat me like normal and the regulars will shoo away crazy fans and maybe sometimes people will come and watch me write like I'm a museum exhibit.

Weird, Renée. And now it's not even a secret.

So anyway, then Melissa called me up and we went to a little thing called VisionCon with Bill and Dan... Wow was that an experience. We were only there for like 15 minutes, and only in the "dealer" room but golly... Nerds are.. nerdy. :)

 That said, with so many people selling and roaming about in costumes, I felt a bit like I'd found my people. And I'm so normal compared to them! I was wearing a skirt and leg warmers and in the real world I felt cute but a little strange. In VisionCon I felt like I was totally normal/kinda boring. I mean, I didn't have a corset or even a tail!

Also I must say- I have no idea what the guy dressed as the "Dread Pirate Roberts" actually looked like, considering the costume covers up almost everything except for a weird mustache... And yet I found him super attractive because of the movie. Why isn't there a girl costume that is that covered and that alluring?!? 

Kinda makes me want to go to a single's Masquerade Ball.

So after that experience, we went to dinner and then Melissa and I went and got wedding crafty while the boys went somewhere to smoke uppity tobacco or something. And Melissa and I watched Stardust. Such a fun movie.

Then I came home and planned out my outfit for tomorrow with items in my closet that I'd almost forgotten about. I'm wearing heels- we'll see how that goes. Did I tell you about how my left foot has been hurting lately? It has.. Just sometimes when I move it a certain way, but then it hurts a lot- from my sole to the top of my foot- wrapping around with the arch. I've not worn heels in at least a week, trying to make it stop hurting, but there doesn't seem to be a difference, so I guess I'll know if it's heels' fault after tomorrow. I can still stand on my tiptoes without pain, so I don't think it's a fallen arch, but Web MD has been less than helpful. Then again even when they get the diagnosis right Web MD can be a bit dangerous.

Ach, it's time to go to bed, I think, and dream of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Next time I have a boy whom I can dress up for Halloween I know what we are going as!  I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before! But don't steal my costume idea, lest I have to sic an RoUS on you.

She is clothed with strength and dignity and skirts.

So today I made a skirt. From a pair of old jeans.

I feel like a crafty and super cute McGuyver.

I've been deciding to try wearing skirts more often. There are a few reasons for this, but one of them is just that I bought some cute sweater tights and tall socks and want to have a reason to wear them. Also skirts make me feel fancy and girly and who doesn't like that, right? Well, ok, boys don't. But all the girls do!

I think I blame pinterest.

Speaking of Pinterest I came across this quote the other day on there and was really struck by it, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future." So, I immediately went to look it up, as is my wont with the internet at my fingertips. And lo and behold I discovered I should have already known. Maybe some of you recognized the quote? I'd never heard this particular version, and I think that is what threw me off.  It's from Proverbs 31:25 (aka the noble/virtuous wife passage.) And I thought-- that's the type of lady I want to be. One who is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future. And how very appropriate that it should come from the Bible... Where so much of my strength comes from.

And I'm falling asleep at the computer typing this--- memo to self: don't stay up till 6:30 AM writing a blog post, skip your nap, and then figure you will be able to stay awake. You won't. I'll have to leave it there for now. But I loves ya!

Numbers 6: 24-26
The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.

Elusive Silver Gilding

I love cable TV channels. I think this is a fact generally well known to all. Especially Bravo. There is something about their brand of reality tv that I find both fascinating and addictive... but I've not been watching a lot of TV as of late and I think there is a reason for this. I'm at home, as most everyone knows and my parents have cable (well, it's technically satellite) and I've noticed that TV is pretty well chock full of emotional landmines for me. Yesterday, it was a commercial for something where the man was talking about the beautiful things he's seen in his life (and we keep seeing home footage of a girl/lady growing older) and then he says the most beautiful image he's ever seen is the image that the drs used to catch his wife's cancer early, so that she could be cured. And then you see the same woman and a man looking at something in a dr. office, and then even later at like a grandkid's birthday party or something... and it's really sweet, but... ach. Sometimes it's so hard not to ask "Why us? Why him?" But I know that's a hard, sad path to walk, and one without any resolution. So I try to keep focused on other things...

Went shopping today, like old times... well, with the addition of two little ones. It was fun, though, and honestly the kids did great, for being out all day... Plus Mom got to eat at Chik-fil-a twice in one day! I taught Rhonda how to play a game on my PSP... Unfortunately the battery wasn't fully charged so she didn't get to play for long... but I have no doubt if she had she would currently be wiping the floor with my Katamari scores... She's always been better at video games than me... I just like them.

Most adorable moment of the trip went to Jeriah, who seemed to develop a bit of a crush on an Old Navy mannequin. He just went over and gave her a long hug... He stopped just as I got my camera out, so we made him do it again, so you all could enjoy it as well.

True love.

And that's pretty well when I stopped taking pictures while we were out. I had stores to visit and things to buy!

So I'll show you some pictures I took after we got home- Here we see the beautiful Kadin showing off her new purse (seen around head), pink skirt, and shoes. Trust me when I say that the black purse is a much classier purse than the blue sequined dog purse she almost got.



Jeriah got cowboy boots! Those are actually rather hard to find without characters on them. Also of interest: Jeriah wears the same size shoe as Kadin. He is not quite three and she is 5 and a half.

I especially enjoy the one pant leg up, one down look he was sporting pretty well all night... though which pant leg switched a few times.

And! We finished the gingerbread church!

I know you can't see them very well, but those are some really awesome bushes on the side of that church... along with... you know... the roof... and the silver plated floor inside the church. Only in the most holiest of Gummi Bear churches do you see examples of the elusive silver gilded floor.

Magnets and Gingerbread

Well, today has been quite busy. Woke up, showered, went to Memphis, which is not the same town I saw 9 months ago! Had lunch with my grandparents and aunt, went to my parents house, spent most of the rest of the day decorating a gingerbread church and fending off Kadin and Jeriah... Cause decorating an Easter church is more difficult than it might seem, and the help of an almost three year old isn't as useful as it sounds. I took some pictures that I will share with you, though there will be many more on Facebook when I return home.

Firstly, I have mentioned to a few people that my mother is a collector of things.. one of the largest being magnets... then when I mention that she had my dad metal plate the kitchen walls above the chair rail so she could put magnets on them, I get several kinds of reactions- but always a request for pictures. Today, I bring you pictures. This one is taken from the entrance to the kitchen.

Did I mention they are organized by theme? Cause they are.

See where the refrigerator meets the wall there?

Here's a look down the side!

And that's the wall next to the fridge.

She has somewhere around 4,000 magnets, she thinks...  The ones that are up aren't even nearly all of them, She tells me that all the holiday ones are put away upstairs. I so wasn't kidding about the organized by category. I've kinda forgotten how weird it is... and then someone asks me for pictures, and it feels a little bit like I grew up in Graceland and people are wanting pictures of the Jungle Room... What? You mean green shag carpeting on the ceiling isn't normal?

OK, on to the gingerbread church:

You know why we make gingerbread churches at Easter?

1) Cause we like the look of stained glass windows

Sooo pretty! Jolly Ranchers-- Much better as decoration than as a candy.

2) Christmas is already too busy to spend so much time on one project.

And when Rhonda and I decide to spend some time on a project, we really go for it... We decided to leave off one side of the roof of the church to let light in for the windows... but that meant we needed something to go inside... AKA congregants for the church. Luckily, the bear families were willing to come. We are especially proud of our multi-racial family, seen above. :)

Yes, that's a bear preacher... and a bear playing the piano off to the side. No one gets into a project the way those girls formerly known as Miller do!

And this is my saddest moment... You see I had great hopes to make a huge tree for the front of the church... a huge tree that was 3 dimensional and stood up by itself.. It would have been really flippin' cool...But the tree just couldn't take it and cracked under pressure... Mom says we needed to bake the gingerbread longer, or it was too humid today. Considering we had a massive rainstorm, I'm going to say it was the humidity that done her in. Also pictured: dishwasher detergent and my toes.

You notice there are no pictures of the finished product? This is because it's not technically done. The roof needed some drying out time, and we ran out of royal icing, and didn't want to make more... Plus the kiddos were getting restless cause Rhonda and I spent all day working on this rather than solely focused on them.

So you will get finished gingerbread church pictures some other day... and as for today the only other thing I have to say is:

You see those two glorious coconut cream pies? I'm loved.

Remember that?

I leave for northern MO in 2 days...well technically, I'll be in northern MO in two days... I leave in the middle of the day. Don't worry, though, I'm sure my sister will let me use her computer to blog while I'm at home. Oh and for any robber types out there reading this, I live in an apartment complex right next door to my best friend who doesn't work and frequently drops by my place when I am not there to "borrow" Pepsis and movies/TV shows. And my landlord is around all the time, too, Not to mention I don't really have that good of stuff to steal.. so let it go, man, let it go.

Anyway all that to say: I need to pack.... and do laundry. The days have escaped me, so tomorrow night is gonna be a bit of a scramble to get everything together. I do so love a challenge, I suppose.... I'm not actually sure that is a true statement I just uttered.... or typed.

Oh, here's a challenge I love- Song challenge time! There is a rather popular current song where a group of people are singing "When they..." and it's auto tuned... Every time I hear it, I think, "That sounds like they are singing, 'Renée.'" Can you figure out what song I'm speaking of?  Bonus random song tidbit: I like to think that in the song "Dynamite" Taio Cruz is actually singing, "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ay-oh, Galileo." (actual lyric is "gotta let go") I think the song is much more amusing when you think about it being sung to the Italian physicist/mathematician/astronomer. Taio and his homeboy Galileo, gonna rock that club.

Do you remember a while ago when I said that I got news that made me gasp and then sob? Well, I've finally been given permission to blog about it. Kara (and Josh) are having a baby boy! And they are naming him Bolt, which I just love. It's Josh's mom's maiden name and both Josh and his sister's middle names and it's just an awesome name. But the news that made me gasp and cry is that his middle name is going to be Nathan.... for my Nathan. Makes me tear up again, just typing it. Nathan would have been so honored. I'm so touched. I love my friends very much.

Today I was at a meeting where people were talking about our church, and someone said something, that I'm taking totally out of context. He was talking about our church and the things he has seen God do in/through the church and feeling like it could repeat, if He wants.. and the way this person described it was that he felt like God said, "Remember that? I can do it again...." And it got to me, in a big way- though personally rather than in the general church context, as it was meant to refer.  You see, the whole time I was sitting in the meeting I was just so sad, because I was missing Nathan.. I was missing the camaraderie... someone who I can talk to with just a glance... someone whose exact thoughts I know, just by their body language. And then this guy said, "Remember that? I can do it again. And it may not look exactly the same, but I can do it again." And I stopped being able to subtly hide my tears... Because I was suddenly flooded with all the memories of how wonderful my relationship with Nathan was...

I get so scared sometimes that I've used up/ filled up my love card. That God will get back to me when He's matched up all the other deserving people in the world (cause you know that God makes people wait their turn, don't cha?) Or that any other relationship I have is going to somehow be diluted, because I was once married to someone else, or just that something will somehow be *less* than what I once had... and having someone remind me that God can do it again- and while it won't be the same, it will be just as good... Remember that friendship? I can do it again. Remember that understanding? I can do it again. Remember that laughter? I can do it again. Remember that happiness? I can do it again. Remember that sense of comfort and peace? I can do it again. Remember that love? I can do it again. Remember that joy? I can do it again. It got to me... What I had with Nathan doesn't have to end with Nathan's life. Remember that? I can do it again. That and someone hugged me in a, "we love you, and it's going to be ok" kind of a way, just as all of that started to hit. Sympathy: easiest way to cause me to break down, ever... Well that and yelling at me, but sympathy is much nicer.

I think I'm still trying to figure out how to grieve as a part of a community... how to let others see it happen in me. I mean I know I share on here... but in person, I try to keep under control as much as I can. Melissa was telling me tonight that letting others see what's happening in me is good for them.. and in a lot of ways that's a foreign concept to me. I feel like me being strong is good for people. And don't get me wrong, sometimes I'm "strong" because I'm feeling strong... but sometimes I'm strong cause I don't want to bring everyone down... and admit that I'm not. Oh grief, you fickle minx.

In other news, Nathan's cousin posted this blog link on Facebook that I have to share with you. It's about dying eggs for Easter. Dying them to make the coolest flipping eggs I've ever seen in my entire life. I fully expect the thrift stores in Springfield to be out of silk ties by the end of the day, this is that cool.

Seriously- Look at this.

I might start buying a collection of silk things now- for the Easter of my future children.

"For the Easter of my future children" I really like the feel of that phrase... like it should be in a poem, or the end of a piece of classic literature... It's like a hopeful version of  "the winter of our discontent."

Wow... yes, I did just compare my writing to that of William Shakespeare... My ego apparently knows no bounds.

I Blame the Creeper Clown

This week I painted with oils for the first time since High school... The only thing I remembered about oils in HS was that they were ridiculously difficult to clean up after and they took a long time to dry. So I made a painting (Techinically this was a painting I promised for my aunt last Christmas and never got the chance to do) and I like it, but I realized something... I like to paint fast. I don't like to spend hours and hours getting things right, and while I appreciate the transparency that oil can bring, the long dry time and extra mess factor just aren't worth it. But that's ok... maybe I'll have a oil, "blue period" someday and be really glad I have those paints around.

Nathan and I have decided on costumes and ordered a pattern for his. I can't tell you what the costumes are because I have enough of a theatre background that I think your character should remain a secret, but I'm quite excited... It's gonna be ambitious and there is a chance of failure, so I gotta get cracking on them now so just in case I can't pull it off, I will have time to re-imagine. And when I say "now" I mean after this weekend. Sorry to fill you with curiosity, but I had to say something!

Nathan's parents are coming up tomorrow to visit. It's a short trip because they need recouping time before heading into the work trenches on Mon, so they are gonna head out Sat. evening. But I think it will be fun. We are gonna do a corn maze! I have loved Corn mazes since I came to college and Nathan is the same...  It's odd that I left a place so rural only to discover corn mazes in the "big city." But I suppose it makes sense. Corn mazes aren't very practical... They tear up your field and you don't get your whole crop... But if you can get a bunch of people to come out, then it makes a lot more sense... I don't know that you could draw a big enough crowd to make up for the losses back home.

I've been kinda blubbery today. Nathan told me about a friend of a professor who has been praying for us since last year and I teared up. I saw a website today with a bunch of weekly pictures of a pregnant lady and notes to the baby from the father, and I shed a few tears, and then I watched Project Runway and the contestants' moms came to visit (and son, in one case) and I seriously went through 4 or 5 Kleenex. I mean yes the contestants were crying, but I don't know their moms! There is something about seeing other people cry that just gets me choked up... that and sympathy. I can be super strong and not shed a tear on my own but if someone looks at me with that face,

You know, This face... only without the hobo clown make-up that creeps it up.... or that other creeper clown who is staring at me as I type this caption...

 or says something to demonstrate that they understand... it's my undoing. Or talking to my family... If something happens and I have to talk to my mom or my sister about it I'm pretty much a basketcase for at least an hour or so afterward. Seriously. There were a couple of times last year when I made Nathan call my mom cause I just couldn't handle breaking down. Have I mentioned how my husband pretty much deserves sainthood? ...Except I sincerely hope to never see his image in toast, tea leaves, bread or any other edible.

 Seriously. You are Catholic and starving cause you missed lunch, and you use up the last of your bread and cheese to make a sandwich, and just as you sit down to a steaming grilled cheese you see the image of the Virgin Mary looking up from the golden brown center of your delectable toasty, melty, scrumdidliumptious sammich. What do you DO?!?

That's a problem I never want to face.

I went back and looked at that clown picture again.. and I can't get over creeper clown. He looks like someone you'd see looking in your window in a Halloween Horror film. And then the other two clowns that are in the background of the top of the picture... the one on the right looks like he is laughing about his evil plot to take over the world and the other one looks like he's hungry.. but that might be because it also looks like he has a window in his stomach and that can't be good for digestion. I think it's the white face paint... white face paint only looks good on Geishas... and even then it's still mildly creepy.

Ach, the things that Thursday nights bring you to ponder are things like no other night brings.

On the occasion of August 31st...

There are 31 days in August and this is my 15th blog post. I say that is not too shabby for my first full month of blogging. One every other day? Good show, old chap! (I don't know why I just called myself old and a chap... I just like talking in a British accent in my head, ok!? That's totally normal and commonplace! Gosh, lighten up!)

Nathan's cousin just brought home a little girl from Ethiopia. Her name is Lily Workinesh. Lily was their name choice, Workinesh is her Ethiopian name- it means "you are gold." She is such a doll. So cute! AND one of my college roommates has also just announced via Facebook that in 7-16 weeks they will be bringing home a little boy from Korea. So many international adoptions = so many adorable international babies! This is all in addition to the 11 other people I know who are currently expecting... I swear I'm not that obsessed with babies- they just seem to be bustin' out all over! Ahahaha. I crack myself up, sometimes.

get it? Cause babies make tummies balloon (aka bust) out and then they actually bust out... but not in a gross "Aliens" kinda way.. cause they are humans not aliens. Humans have human babies. That movie was not a documentary.... *phew* Glad we cleared that up.

I made a pillowcase the other day for some adolescent girl who has cancer (Crafthope.com). It was so easy! I love French seaming, I've decided... I may change my mind when I make something more complicated than a pillowcase, but for now I love it... now I want to make lots of pillowcases. I'm getting into the crafty mood again. It's fun, and a good excuse to rewatch Gilmore Girls.... I wish someone would hire me to sit at home and make crafts all day. (No, I don't want to start an Etsy or my own business, I like dependable paychecks and relatively simple tax forms. Minus ambition, remember?) But if you want to start a crafting business I could be your first hire. I can sew, paint, sculpt, fiddle about in illustrator, decorate cakes, bake, and watch TV on DVD with the best of them. I'm also experienced with power tools and basic construction techniques. Just don't make me do the multiplication tables in my head or type with my fingers on home row.

So with the addition of Mario to my schedule, the reading has dropped off. I gotta get back on that bus before all my books are due... Do you know that somehow, yesterday I was able to read a book, play some Mario, watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion (don't judge!), mop my kitchen and vacuum the rest of my house, oh and wash and dry my pillowcase. I didn't cook dinner or blog... but I still think it is quite impressive. Someday when I have children I'm gonna have to put all this "fun" stuff aside to play and help with homework and go to sports (ugh) or play (yay!) practices... I plan to pick it all back up when the kids go away. I'm gonna be so into video games when I'm 50!

ok dat's all I got... my husband didn't eat today. (Oh, hello, pre-steroids Nathan!) so we gotta do an early din din. I definitely learned "din din" from an old movie called "Who's Minding the Mint" I think I should probably watch that again sometime... I imagine there is a lot I didn't get when I was 6.