Rant

So the collision center left a message to let me know that my car is done...  Thanks, dude, I picked it up on Friday. Kinda makes me think I should go out there and try and pick up my car again. Anyone want an extra Pruis?

Anyway, on to the real reason why I blog tonight:

I'm irritated. Irritated with stories that obviously aren't true and are just made up to manipulate emotions. I'm irritated that these stories don't get facts even close to possible. I mean I know that "Christmas Shoes" is just a bunch of schmaltz but I saw a story today posted on facebook that took "Christmas Shoes" and added a little sister who also died, a drunk driving accident, and a newspaper which is apparently allowed to publish facts like that a family has to decide whether or not to take someone off life support. I mean the original story is just this side of likely. But adding all the other things in there to manipulate emotions... it's really wrong. It's like a Jr. High kid trying to manipulate adults. Really transparent and rather offensive... especially because after all the bs of this made up story, this was the final line.

"Now you have 2 choices: (1) Copy & Paste this on your wall (2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart."

I would like to add a third option. Blog about it as though it totally ticked you off and you can't believe that someone would try and use death as a manipulation device.

It might be that I'm so mad because I try so hard to not use death as a manipulation tool. I go out of my way to avoid bringing it up. I go out of my way to joke about it to make people more comfortable. I go out of my way to be cool when people make off-handed comments that hurt, because they weren't thinking. I try so hard to not freak people out and to be normal-acting, even when on the inside I'm hurting so very badly. Because using grief to manipulate people, cheapens it. It cheapens my relationship, it cheapens my love, it cheapens everything about this terrible experience that I'm trying to survive. I ask for what I need, not what I want. If I asked for what I wanted I'd be using Nathan's death and I'm not ok with that. I'm barely ok with asking for what I need, lest someone think that it's just something that I want.

It's just... not ok.