She frowned and said, that no, it was still a bad day and I told her that she needed to focus on the positive. She then said, "I can't really see any positive."
And suddenly I was impassioned. I said, "Did you kill anyone today?"
She said no.
I said, "No one died.... er... Did anyone you care about die today?" (How sad is it that I had to edit myself because the possibility of a loved one's death is so real to me?)
She said no.
And I said, "Well there are two huge positives. You didn't kill anyone and all of your loved ones are still with you."
And then I realized I was kinda being a jerk and stopped talking, and another friend said I was a motivational speaker.
I'm such a hypocrite sometimes. I complain all the time. I mean you all know that, because I post it on the internet for everyone to read. My friend was just complaining and then I forced my perspective down her throat. Not so cool, Renée... It's a good thing I still get some widow-grace. (I sent her an apology this morning.) But I just couldn't handle someone saying that they couldn't see anything positive to focus on. There has to be something... I mean it may be a small thing but if you don't choose something positive to focus on and choose to dwell on the negative for very long... It's a horrible slippery slope that ends in tears, depression, and sickness in your spirit.
So this morning I woke up a lot earlier than I wanted to and drove to the mechanic/dealership and tried not to say too obviously or too often, "It wasn't my fault!" And they were all very nice to me. I saw four men standing around a coffee maker trying to figure it out and I was highly amused... and then one of the men looked up at me and saw how amused I was and looked around and returned my amusement... and then he took 3 large steps back and said, "How many guys does it take to figure out a coffee maker?" So we had our own little public joke. And then the rental car man was very nice to me as well, and he's going to call insurance and talk to them and have me set up so that Monday morning when I bring my car in I will have a rental to drive around for the 7-10 days that it's going to take to fix my car. (7-10 days! Diggity dang!) And then I left and got an extremely well made and tasty Venti coffee. (Aside: Starbucks on Sunshine near Campbell= best Springfield Starbucks? votes?)
And all this morning what kept running through my head is this: "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." I think the way that I confronted my friend last night wasn't right, but what I was trying to say... that was right. But I think perhaps Paul says it better than I.
4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.So I choose today to dwell on perfectly made coffee, unspoken camaraderie, nice mechanics, insurance, positive peer reviews, guys who wear newsie caps (otherwise known as old man golfing hats), and this absolutely adorable couple. (I know I posted it on Facebook, but they are just so cute!)
8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
10But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. 11Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:4-13
I love that scripture. A few weeks ago, my pastor summed it up by saying, "Contentment is a choice.". The more I think about it, the more true that is. Long story short, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. We share this outlook. Sidenote: I like the new blog background thingy. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree contentment is a choice. But I think it's one of those paradoxical things that has to be turned around by dwelling for a moment with the person in their disappointment. They've actually done studies to show that when someone tells you they're having a bad day, and you say something along the lines of, "That sucks," or "Oh, I'm sorry," they feel better almost immediately, but if you say, "Chin up!" they feel worse. I think it's because we share those things looking for the bonds of friendship & empathy more than looking for solutions. Because usually, we already know what the solutions are.
ReplyDeleteThen again, sometimes you've just had a bit too much of other peoples' problems, and your inner sunshine just has to bust out in order to keep you from sinking, too. So it goes.