Of Malls and Men

I went to the mall today--- it'd been a while, and I won't have the disposable income to go again for a while, so I thought it might be nice. I got several cute things, but one thing particular was super "me."

I saw it laying on a table and I loved the look of it but when I held it up I thought for sure it was going to look terrible on me. But then I tried it on and I loved it.

Then I took it to the register and it was 1/2 off. Sweet!

Yep. It's a pink rainbow.

I'm in love.

I repainted my nails just for this sweater, I kid you not.

I'd give you a picture of more than my arm in the sweater but my computer is being obstinante and not letting me flip them so they'd be sideways.

Oh what the heck. You can manage with a sideways pic, right?

What am I doing with my lip there?

What the- hey!

I swear, on my computer that shows up sideways. So weird, computer. So weird.

On a different subject, I read this yesterday-

“And he absolutely had to find her at once to tell her that he adored her, but the large audience before him separated him from the door, and the notes reaching him through a succession of hands said that she was not available; that she was inaugurating a fire; that she had married an American businessman; that she had become a character in a novel; that she was dead.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire

I love that.--(Be warned, I haven't actually read that book and I know the quote is totally out of context.)

Add this to two things said today- One from a friend on facebook:

"Lesson to guys: See a pretty girl, ask her out. I bet she doesn't get asked hardly ever. If she's not dating someone she will probably say yes."

 One from a friend in Starbucks, "But we've [girls] been taught for centuries and centuries and centuries that we should be fought for."

They are both right, at least in a way. I think that every girl really wants to be made much of. She wants someone to try and fight through the crowd to reach her. She likes at least the idea of the grand gesture. I used to always say that I wanted a secret admirer... heck I still probably do, and I don't think I'm alone in that. Maybe it would be creepy in actuality, but I'm not totally convinced. I think that "being fought for" is really different these days than it used to be. 

Now it means that you are willing to fight yourself. You are willing to fight the fear of rejection. (That's a big deal!) You are willing to fight off your self-preservation instincts to be vulnerable. Be the you that other people don't see. That you'd never be around your buddies.

I guess the thing is that I know movies are ridiculous and that things never turn out that way. But if there can be war and cancer and all the bad stuff that you see, and it can all be real... then why can't those sweeping romantic gestures be real, too?

Why did I have to battle through my husband's cancer and death, but when it comes to a happy ending, that's when I need to be realistic? Forget that. Someone find me a Disney prince*, STAT!

*only from the Little Mermaid on- No cardboard princes, please.