Crazy-go-nuts

Today was insane for me.

First off I didn't get to sleep until 5:30 AM because of how much stuff I had to do to get ready for today.

Then I woke up later than intended so I threw clothes on and rushed downstairs and basically out the door with Dawn and Mom. We went to the mall where we found everything on Mom's "big city" shopping list including dark brown slacks for Dad, a new comforter set for them, and over 50 dollars worth of stuff at Old Navy so that she could get 10 dollars free, because Old Navy gives the gift of consumerism for a person's birthday.

I also got a new fragrance oil at Bath and Body Works for $3 and paid $1.25 for a cute little basket to hold all my fragrance oils in. So we were there until 12:30 or so and then we left the mall so I could come home and get ready for my GA interview.

I put on a skirt, heels, and jewelry, and then read up on basic interview questions, because we all know me and my first impressions... (though I do think I'm getting a lot better!)

Then I drove to campus and had the interview. I think it went really well. There weren't any red flags that I know of and I think the woman who would be my supervisor and I would get along pretty great. It's not surprising as she gets along with a lot of people who I know and vice versa, but you can never be certain until you actually meet! ... I should hear by next week. I'm hopeful but trying not to count them chickens afore their hatched.

Oh and while I was in the interview Ryan texted me to let me know that he had a big chunk of work for me tonight if I was available (video game work pours- if it rains). I told him after 10 PM I'd be available.

After the interview, I took an hour to clean up my speech for tonight... and while I made it coherent, I didn't get a chance to run through it, and I wasn't super happy with the flow. But I had to get going.

So then I came back home to change and get Mom and Dawn and then we went to Bass Pro because I've finally convinced my mom of the glory of Crocs. (It was the "comfortable for a lot of walking, but won't stay wet forever after going on a water ride in an amusement park" sell... what can I say, my family really likes amusement parks!)

We got her some Crocs (btw Bass Pro has a homemade ice cream maker that is either crank *or* electric and makes 6 pints. It was huge... and awesome.) Then we went to Cracker Barrel and ate and got my grandma some cds she mentioned wanting.

Everyone at Cracker Barrel was looking at me funny, though. I don't know why. I had changed back into shorts by then, so it's not like I was exceptionally dressy or anything, but they kept staring at me... I started to wonder if I looked like someone who worked there.... or a celebrity. I think I'd rather look like a celebrity than a Cracker Barrel employee.

After CB we hit The Cup, because I've indoctrinated my family members.

And then it was straight to Jonny and Katie's where I dropped Dawn and Mom off and picked up Johnny.

We went to the church slightly early and I ran through my speech.

I finished exactly at 7, ran downstairs, listened to another presentation and then gave mine. (I will likely blog about this a little more in depth tomorrow... tonight is just for being overwhelmed with the amount of things I've done today.

So, Critiques/feedback and a short class, then back to K&J's and back home.

Then I ate the cupcake from the Cup, planned tomorrow's leaving schedule, and got to work for Ryan. Worked on video game stuff until 2:15, wrote a blog and soon I'll sleep.

Oh and between the Cup and the speech, one of my writing group buddies texted and wanted to know if I could switch weeks and go this week.... like send out my stuff tomorrow-ish. Holy Crap, no I can't! I have the base word count, but no time for editing or revisions or even a cursory glance!

You know it's bad when a day spent at an amusement park sounds relaxing...

Productivity Scam

Well, I got five pages written today, as well as nailing down my application for the English Dept. (They require a bit more than the general Master's Application.) So, that's something.

Feeling productive is such a scam. It's a hard to feel like I'm productive, even when I really am, because I don't have that set schedule. I actually do rather well with someone else giving me deadlines.

I love procrastination. It makes me feel like I'm taking chances that I'm not really. It gives my life a sense of urgency and immediacy that isn't technically true. The problem is that you can't procrastinate if no one else is counting on you/ expecting you to do something.

You know, I miss being a part of a team. Not in the sports sense of the word, but just a group of people working towards something. It's one of the reasons why I loved theatre so much. Everyone working together for a common goal. Heck, I think that might be why I like working on the video game stuff so much, too. I'm using my small skills for a larger goal.

Now that my One-Act is going to be published, I'm really hoping that someone will want to use it... It's shorter than the typical 30 min that a One-Act for MSHSAA competition is supposed to be. But it could be a DI, or used as part of a One-Act showcase. I would just really love to see it performed... to be a (small) part of a theatre crew again, and see how someone else interprets it and brings my words to life. That's living the dream.

Eventually I'm gonna get that second bookshelf built in my upstairs closet and I'll hang art on the staircase wall and I'll figure out where in the heck my little bird hooks went to. I'll take the rest of my shoes that I don't wear out of the box and I'll hang up my mirror so that it doesn't need the shoes' box to hold it up. Maybe then I'll feel like I've made some progress, though it's hard to tell. It's such an easy trap to fall into. If I actually got all of these things done, *then* I will have made progress. *Then* I'll know my life is moving forward. *Then* I'll know that I'm getting it all together.

I don't have to have it all together, right? I keep thinking I do, but it's not true. I keep thinking I have to be perfect to be attractive. I keep trying to be the very very best person in all the land in hopes that someone will notice and love me for it. But I think that's probably a bad motivation. Probably I should try to be the very very best person I can be because that's what everyone one should do, not in hopes that someday some unknown will notice and propose to me right on the spot. I mean, if I don't know him I'd have to turn him down anyway, right?

Well, maybe not if it was Darren Criss.

Do you know what Darren Criss pointed to as the highlight of the past year of his career? Singing a duet with Kermit.

I think we are soulmates... or at the very least, kindred spirits.

My British GPS is muttering under his breath about how often I "blather on about that bloomin' fellow, when you've never even met the bloke."

Little does he know that my novel is going to be one of those break-out fads and they are going to make a movie of it and Darren Criss will be cast in it and then I will visit the set one day and be oh so chic and artist-y and he's gonna be completely flummoxed, and that's when he'll propose.

That will be a productive day.

British GPS says I'm "out of your bloomin' mind, you are!"

I beg to differ.

Anyway what does he know? You can't map the mysterious ways of the heart.

Mildly overwhelmed, but overwhelmingly positive!

The meeting yesterday went really well, I think. The advisor said I wasn't too late to be applying at all. (Though I do need to get the ball rolling.) He said I had a "glowing" GPA.  And then I'm pretty sure he guesstimated my age to be somewhere between 23 and 25, which is just fine by me. He also said that while I need to take the GRE, I don't need to worry overly much about my scores, because it's just part of what they look at and with a great GPA, references, writing sample, and personal statement, a non-impressive GRE score will be overlooked. That's good to hear, though I still plan on studying a bit... just because I can get a not-great score doesn't mean I want to get a not-great score... I've got some pride.... or is that work ethic. Basically, I'd still like to do my best, even if  it doesn't matter.

It is too late to get a GA-ship for the fall in the English dept. But that said, I went to an end-of-small-group barbecue last night and three different people told me about GA-ships that other departments had that I could possibly get. Which makes me pretty hopeful about my prospects... and one of them might even pay better than an English GA-ship.

I also have a friend who thinks I just need to start writing e-books and selling them.... but I think I need some time to get my book written... and I'd like to at least try the more traditional publishing route first.

My life is a complete whirlwind right now- I'm still not unpacked, I have to register for, prep for, and take the GRE. I have to get reference letters, and write a personal statement. I have to choose writing samples I want to turn in. I'm still working at the church, I'm writing my book and going to writer's group, They need me to be working on the video game, blogging, trying to make time for friends and the bajillion showers that are happening, not to mention that there is no art up in my entire apartment and it's bugging the dickens out of me. I needed to go home last weekend, but it sure did mess up my groove. I really need to stay in and just slam things out, but this weekend is already filling up with lots and lots of activities... all of which I really want to do, but land a goshen!

It's so nice to have internet again, though that it kinda makes it all ok.

So I'm only mildly overwhelmed, but overwhelmingly positive!

Progress!

God bless facebook. Without it I wouldn't remember about springing ahead.

I don't know if my phone knows about daylight savings... I wonder if I will be up at 2 to find out.

 I did good work today. I found this:

 

That, my friends, is a "Goodbye Kitty" poster. I purchased it in like 2005 for the sole purpose of hanging it in my dorm room to get a rise out of Kara... the girl who got a Hello Kitty sewing machine for Christmas (this year!) I recall her response being something akin to, "How could you! How could you be so cruel!?!"

Mwa ha ha ha ha!

So does anyone want this? Cause I don't anymore, but I'd love to see it go to a good home. :)

Also check out my Office closet now:

That used to be full of things... now it's full of boxes of things. Totally different!

Which means the office is pretty well packed up, except for the computer.. and everyone knows that's a last minute thing. :)

I get the keys in 6 days. Holy crap... I'm gonna just set out 6 days of clothes and pack up my bedroom closet.

Also I won't be attending my weekly engagements... I'm just going to packing things. Cause I can fit a whole lot of stuff in an apartment.... a *whole* lot of stuff.

Life's a Happy Song

I got a lot done today.

I wrote several pages on my story and posted it to Blackboard... K, that was at like 3 AM but that's technically today!

I made all my Christmas shopping purchases.

I worked.

I discovered that sugar free Peppermint syrup isn't as good as regular peppermint syrup but it will do if you have no other alternative.

Learned how to make Peppermint syrup. Yeah, that's happening as soon as I empty a bottle of Vanilla syrup I have.

I watched an episode of Eli Stone. I both love and hate watching shows that are already ended... It means I can watch all of them at once.... but it means that I get sad that shows I didn't watch when they were on weren't renewed.

I made soup.

I burned soup.  Whoops! Rookie mistake.

I made some sweet magnets out of vintage clip on earrings and some flat beads.

I came up with ideas for a game... don't get excited, no clue if this game will actually use any of my ideas.

I watched the Sing-Off Finale and was quite happy with the results. This gives nothing away cause I would have been quite happy with any of the top 3 groups winning.

I sent multiple e-mails.

I convinced my dad to make rolls for the Carney Christmas celebration with the line, "It's a proven fact that widows need yummy cornmeal rolls to make it through the holidays."

... ok so technically I think he'd already decided to make them anyway but I think the widow plea would have worked. Parents are susceptible to widow pleas.

Bought this song for free

Now I'm going to do one of several things: Write more, read a book, bake cupcakes, or make a fabulous thing for the Carney Family gift exchange. I want it to be so awesome it gets stolen 3 times. Considering the divergent tastes of my family this might be a tall order.

P.S.
I wish I were Amy Adams for many reasons... but this is a big one:

Enough

Well that was appropriate. Just watched an episode of Dawson's Creek. The Halloween episode. How delightful. I mean, it was bound to happen that one time in the 6 seasons of Halloween episodes that one would fall around Halloween time. But still, it was fun. Kinda nice that it was the last season.

I've had a really productive day. I got a lot done at work, I got my homework done, I went and hung out at Katie's for like 3 hours, I spoke to another friend for a couple of hours.

Didn't get my dishes done... maybe tomorrow??

Yesterday I prayed that God would provide me with companionship... cause until I find the right guy, I still need companions to come alongside me. I'm still an extrovert, you see. And today, when I was perfectly fine with just staying at home and bumming around- suddenly I had companions.

God is tricksy like that... :)

It's still so incredibly amazing to me how He will give me what I need for that moment... and sometimes, what I want, too.

This whole "turn in an assignment on Friday and wait till Tuesday to get people's reaction" is for the birds, by the way. I literally was getting butterflies in my stomach earlier. I've calmed down since then.

It's really nice when people believe in you... and not because they have to or because they always see the best in things... but because they just think that's the way that it is.

tonight I was told that I have "the ability to see good in people's lives... or.. see how they could be good or something."

I take it as a fabulous compliment... and probably one that I don't deserve as much as I would like to.

"We think you got a lot of potential, Kit De Luca."

(Name the movie?)

You know, my life is not everything that I want... but it's enough.

Generic blog title # 93

Did I tell you that I filed? As in: for the first time in over a year I no longer have huge stack of papers that need to be filed away? And I got back everything from Nathan's aunt to do with insurance and hospitalization, because we think (knock on wood) that everything is actually taken care of there. And I purchased fabric today for my Snow White outfit... well for the skirt part at least... Still trying to figure out exactly how I want to modernize/ reinvent the top. And I stapled and folded a whole mess of directories, and tomorrow I'm going to paint over at Katiejon's. This weekend is a "get stuff done" weekend.

But that doesn't mean it can't also be a "let's have fun" weekend. In fact we should. You let me know what you want to do and we'll have fun.. My evenings are especially free... I mean I will find things to fill them... like writing for my class... but if you wanna do something text me, call me, send up a really obvious smoke signal...

But before that happens, I need to sleep... I think my body is trying to fight off some sort of bug. I don't actually have any obvious symptoms but I didn't feel well this morning and I was sooo tired last night.... I need to go pop some vitamin C pills or something.

You know what's frustrating? It feels like I'm always forgetting about something at work. Like no matter how many things I do or work on or finish or address in a week there is one thing that falls off the plate somewhere. So frustrating. Especially when I feel like I used to have a handle on everything... I wonder if I have a tendency to get overwhelmed more easily now and it's a defense mechanism.

I may have discovered a new favorite band today... I'm getting their CD from the library to find out.

She tells stories like a painter, yeah
With colorful words that I don't always understand
But it always sounds like somewhere better than here
Yeah, everywhere is better with her

She has a subtle way
Of making you forget your darkness
Behind some clever conversation
No finer heart, could ever beat for you

I'd like to believe this song was written about me... and one of the members of this band is secretly in love with me.

I just have one question for you. Where are all the pretty boys? A friend of mine said yesterday: "It's raining men!" 

and I said, "No, no, it's not."

Oh I have a story for you about the human lie detector test... but I think it will have to wait until tomorrow.

G'night loves.

Renée

Now Exiting Go-mode

Today I got things done.

I didn't sleep as late as I could have. I completed my tax organizer. I dropped off a few medical supplies. I went to the library.  I walked with Kara and then chatted with her for several hours. I cleaned my living room. I went to Target. I went to Barnes and Noble. I went out to dinner with friends. And then walked off some of dinner with friends for an hour. I took out the trash-- well the huge box from the ottoman, anyway... at night! I loaded my dishwasher. I cleaned my kitchen. I wrote this blog post.

JGTH! Yes I'm awesome! (Quick, what's that quote from?)

Tomorrow, I need to do laundry, and maybe I'll actually rearrange the living room, instead of just talking about it. or I may *horrors!* attempt to tackle the office.... or perhaps I'll read a book and do nothing all day long.... yeah... one of those things.

Apparently today is not one of my deep days. Apparently today is a light and fluffy list kind of a day.

Oh! Tomorrow, I'm getting acrylic nails! I'm hoping this will cure my biting habit... and I think they look super pretty and girly, and I like feeling girly.

Gosh, I have nothing to say tonight... I spent so much time doing, today, that I didn't spend much time thinking... I would like to mention Japan, and the tragedy that has struck so many people in these last few days.... I'm sure the whole nation is in shock, and while my personal tragedy is on a much smaller scale, I certainly know what it feels like to have everything in your world change in an instant, and I wish I could give the whole country a great big hug. Maybe that's a bit cliche, but it's how I feel.

Anyway I think I'm going to give up on deep thoughts for the night, and watch some Netflix or something.

Stay cool, yo.

Make-a a blog-a post-a

Today we leave to go to Arkansas for the weekend. Between my birthday and not finding out for sure we were leaving on Thursday till Wednesday, I'm woefully unprepared for this trip. This means I have not planned or  packed and that I'm in go-mode because of it. However, go-mode is actually a good place to be when you gotta get stuff done cause even when you are forced to sit around and wait for something you still can't just do nothing and so (in bad Italian accent) I make-a a blog-a post-a.

Unfortunately today has been a day from... as the Ancient Greeks would say, Hades. Ok, I know they wouldn't say it like that but hey it's cool to take Greek mythology and bring it into the current day. See the Percy Jackson book series. Anyway it's been a crappy day and so I think a run to the Cupcakery before leaving town is in order. Red Velvet, I hear your siren call... you sound a lot like Alannah Myles... or is that Black Velvet?

The internet was broken this morning at work, but fortunately I've learned the "turn it off and wait 30 sec" method of fixing problems and luckily it worked today. I'm a genius... or at least I like to pretend like I am.

Ok so I ordered some new cute crocs for me and some cool, hip crocs for Nathan (not to be confused with the classic ugly crocs) from the internet like 2 weeks ago.... and the post office has had them since July 31st. All the while saying that they would give them to me in one to two days-- it is August 5th so even if you don't count Sunday they are 3 days holding on to my crocs. I think they opened the package and were amazed that crocs is starting to make cute shoes and now there are people at the post office wearing my shoes! Give me back my shoes, you Hooligans!

So.... go-mode makes for some random  train of thought blog posts... ohs wells. Catch ya on the flip.