Well, it wasn't very long lived... 2 things happened. 1)Nathan started playing KH: BBS and 2) He hurt his back, today. This means he is, as I write, passing me up in levels and going to be beating my time logged in the game in short order.. Oh well, we return to the natural order of our marriage.
I may or may not be watching an ABC Family show called "Kyle XY" on DVD. Ok, you got me, I totally am. It's pretty enjoyable... the writing isn't superb or anything but I really like the actor who plays Kyle. It's hard to play a character who is totally clueless about everything and yet a super genius, but I'm impressed. I think it's his grin. You can tell a lot from a grin. I think when people smile at you it really makes a difference. And this kid's got an uber-grin that he flashes willy nilly around that show. It could melt the heart of a polar bear... if a polar bear had human thoughts, of course and didn't take flashing teeth as a sign of a challenge and maul him. That wouldn't work out so well.
We had a good trip to St. Louis. Dr. Stockerl-Goldstein had a lady (his new fellow...... like the hematology/oncology Dr. kind of fellow, not the male kind of fellow) on rounds with him when he visited with us. When he came in he said that he'd been explaining Nathan's journey to her in the hallway, everything that he's been through, but then he said, "but I told her that when we came in you would still have a smile on your face." The nurses at Cox always commented on Nathan's ready smile, too. Recently someone else (who does not give out compliments very often) told us how much he/she admired the grace in which we'd handled everything. I'm not sure if people know how much comments like those mean to us (especially me). I've never been noted for my physical grace... I'm from the accidentally run into walls and trip over my own feet school of grace. And throughout this whole process I've hardly felt graceful... I've felt more like a bull running down a shoot. Just duck your head and keep moving forward... but to know that people see and really appreciate the fact that I'm still trying to live up to my commitments, that I try not to use cancer as an excuse, and that Nathan and my whole goal is to hold hands as tightly as we can and just keep putting one foot in front of the next. It means so much. The way I'm able to get through this is my faith that there is a Higher Power who cares, and that there is a greater plan than what I can see... That's what I hear when I hear someone talk about our "grace" or Nathan's smile.. I hear them saying they can see God in us... cause that's where it's coming from.
hmmm.... ok so I've been waxing a bit sentimental. I guess I was due... ever since we came back from St. Louis I've been exhausted and cranky.. In fact, earlier today I slept from about 5:15 to 7:40.... and then we went to Starbucks, which is probably why I'm typing a blog post at 12:45 at night when I have to be up to walk at 7:00. However after said nap and Starbucks I'm feeling much better, and thus the pondering of the positive via blog post, I suppose. Suggestions of ridiculous things to ponder are always welcome, by the way.
I feel like since Oct. started life has suddenly sped up to about mach 8. Am I alone in this? My head is spinning right round (like a record, baby, right round, round, round.) Feels like Thanksgiving is gonna be here in about 2 seconds the way things are going. I don't know why this is... perhaps it's the cold? I hear that people in cold climates get things done, because they have to keep warm. Where as people in the tropics have a much slower, easy-going way of life, cause it's too hot to stress...
I hope I never have to live somewhere without seasons... I really like the changes, and constantly looking forward to wearing a new style of clothing... have I already said this? Sometimes I get super paranoid that my blog is just gonna turn into an endless cycle of me repeating myself on like a 3 month rotation and I won't notice... I'll be like those professors that you have for a class in college and think they are the greatest teachers ever and then you take a second class with them and realize that they just use the same jokes and stories in all of their classes.... such disappointment. I don't wanna be a disappointment! Put me in, Coach, I'm ready to play! HA! Only time I have ever (or probably will ever) utter those words. Land mark occasion right here!
...seriously... watch me say that same thing on accident in Jan....
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