Ready for the magic

I can't even begin to explain how often I see God's hand in the way that events transpire in my life. Seems so often I get a pick-me-up message just when my life is the feeling the hardest. And I can feel the love of God... and not just the love, but the simple caring... like it matters to Him if I'm having a bad day... And when I can't rely on anyone else to care about the mundane nothing of my life... He does.

It's kind of ridiculous how easy it is for me to define my own life by others. By that I mean- who am I? I'm my mother's daughter, I'm Rhonda's older sister, I'm Kara's best friend. I'm a caretaker, I'm a hostess, I'm a giver. But I'm not sure who I am without others.. I'm not sure what I want out of life besides to matter to others.

I watched the Voyage of the Dawn Treader today... It was decent... they left a whole heck of a lot out.. but I so identify with Lucy. I'm not sure, as the oldest of two why I most identify with the youngest of 4, but I do... something about the desire to believe in the impossible? Who knows.

The rain is making applesauce.

I'm ready for some magic in my life now. I'm ready for the magic in the good sense. I've been besieged by evil for long enough. I've had enough of the pain and the fear and the soul-wrenching sorrow. I'm ready for the fairy godmothers, and the transformations, and the sparkles of life living up to it's fullest potential. I'm ready for the happy. I long for it... I don't want to have to be strong anymore... I want to be in a place where I can lay down my arms... where my strength isn't required. I want to be able to choose to fight... to not have to fight, because there is no other option.