The danger of blogging in bed...

The danger of blogging in bed is that sometimes you close your eyes, and then you wake up 7 hours later without having actually posted your blog.  Cause apparently that one click was too much for your brain to handle. Luckily my bed is big enough to hold a computer and me overnight... and apparently I was tired enough that I barely moved all night. This is not normal. 

Now to return you to your regularly scheduled blog post:
 
hmmmmmmm.

Things I remembered today:

I hate days where I just go and go and go... at least I do when I go by myself and not with a friend.

I discovered the music of Les Miserable from Dawson's Creek of all places.

I am Joey Potter.

There is nothing that I want more in this whole wide world than to be needed... to be wanted... to be considered a help.

I honestly don't feel needed that often... loved, yes... but needed? I mean I don't have any dependents, so there aren't any obvious people who need me... and as for everyone else... well I suppose it depends on your definition of need. Maybe people aren't supposed to need each other in the way I'm talking about. Maybe that's unhealthy.

Ok so I've left the heading of things I remembered today, but I'm filled with... something... ennui? teenage angst? restlessness? the desire to do something crazy and inane just to shake things up a little?... I blame Dawson. Hey you want to hear/ read one of the most influential moments on my early psyche from TV? Oh what's that? You don't really have a choice but to read what I put in front of you?? excellent.

JOEY:   You know, and I thought this is what I wanted -- for you to see me as beautiful. For you to look at me the -- the way that you look at Jen. But the truth is, I don't want that at all, Dawson. I want you to look at me and see the person you've always known and realize that what we have is so much more incredible than just some passing physical attraction, because you know what, Dawson? It's just lipstick. And it's just hairspray. Tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up, and I'm gonna be Joey. Just Joey. You know, the too tall girl from the wrong side of the creek.
DAWSON:  Wait, Joey, this is all new to us, and we should talk about it, okay? Because no matter what happens, we can't go back to the way things were.
JOEY:   Dawson, you've had a lifetime to process your feelings for me. And I can't spend the rest of mine hoping that you might throw a general glance in my direction in between your tortured teen romances with whatever Jen Lindley rolls into your life next. I can't do it.

It's just lipstick and it's just hairspray. Tomorrow morning I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna be me. Just me. You know, the short girl from the wrong side of the creek.

I think the only difference between Joey and I have different levels of self-confidence... whether they are earned levels, well that's slightly more debatable.

my head hurts. I'm going to sleep./

P.S. Kinda ironic that this is tomorrow morning, isn't it?