Unfair

Last night I was trying to write when I was hit with some pretty intense upper back pain. I think that it was from taking a nap and sleeping on it wrong and then sitting strangely on the couch while writing... Well, to be honest, I sit strangely pretty often... always have.

Yep.

Anyway, I was trying to write, but pretty soon I couldn't. So I went and took a couple of Tylenol because that's a muscle relaxant, and I dug out my heating pad and put it on my back and waited.

And there was no position that made it hurt any less and it took quite some time before it I started to feel even mildly better... and it made me cry. It didn't make me cry because my back hurt so much, though it was rather painful. I cried because Nathan went through that... only his didn't end with a few tylenol, a heating pad and some sleep. It kept going for months and months on end. And it just made me even more aware of how amazing he was and how sad I am that he had to hurt for so long.

I hate how unfair life is sometimes. He didn't deserve the pain he went through.

I miss him. Still.

Always.