Conference

Hi!

I've been luxuriating in the freedom of not having to blog. Last night I went to bed at midnight, because I could and I was tired.

But today I missed you.

Your bright shining faces. The way you make me laugh. The way you fill up my e-mail inbox every morning.

And also I wanted to talk.

I went to a conference this weekend in St. Louis. It was fun to travel with friends and meet new people.

Honestly the conference itself wasn't that ground shattering, except for some really cool things that happened at the very end.

It seems as though the thing God wants to tell me... the thing that He's been telling me over and over is that I'm beautiful. It's certainly a tautology I need and want to hear. Heavens knows I've mentioned enough on here that it's one of the things I miss the most about Nathan. Someone came up to me at the same conference last year and told me that God wanted me to know I was beautiful and then two separate people at this conference told me the same thing (neither of them know me or my story.) One said that I was beautiful, but not just on the outside but because I was made intentionally that way that- "what God has made you, is beautiful." He referenced Psalm 139. The other said I was a "rare and beautiful flower" Then someone else came up to me and told me that off of the flower thing, he got "reborn or rebirth, like a perennial." And then he quoted Matthew 5: 14-16- “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

So, while I want and need to be called beautiful and it's pretty telling that it came from three different sources, the last thing is the thing which hit me the hardest... Because while I think this guy knew that my name is Renée, he didn't know that I am a widow and he certainly didn't know that I feel like I've gone through a rebirth of beauty... that I really do feel like an perennial. And there was no way for him to know that Matthew 16 is the verse which I most desire in all the world to live like.

In conclusion: God's sorta cool.

Oh, and the last word was monolith.

And in other news, I bought brown boots today and I love this song, which I've just discovered.