Introverts and me

So here's the thing.

I'm an extrovert.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

It took me until sometime in the middle of college... or maybe even after college to figure it out, because I'm not good at small talk. I'm not super gregarious. I don't have a sparkling personality that makes everyone want to stop and talk with me. I don't talk to everyone if I go to a party. I'm quiet and I'm not that outgoing.

So it's safe to say I'm not what people would call a "typical extrovert."

But I call myself an extrovert because I love people. I need to be around people. People make me happy. I crave the company of others. Now obviously this applies to all people, but there is something in me that especially loves introverts.

I'm not completely sure why, but I've developed close bonds with introverts too many times at this point to dismiss the pattern. Perhaps it's that I identify with so many of the traits that people say are normal of introverts. Perhaps it's that I love the "underdog." Perhaps it's that I love a challenge. Perhaps it's that I need balance. Perhaps it's that if an introvert wants to be my friend it feels like I've somehow won a prize or proven my worth. Perhaps it's that I just really find introverts endearing.

Yep, endearing. I love it when one of my introverted friends goes on one of their surprise rants. I love observing and figuring them out better than most people do. I love being someone they can stand to be around when they finally do need a friend. I guess that introverts take me by surprise pretty often and I really like that.

So, obviously I'm a huge fan of all the things that are posted about taking care of introverts- Instructional manuals for my friends? Yes, please! Also they are usually funny. Like this one, where the introvert lives in a hampster ball. Or this one where someone wrote an introvert "manifesto." And of course the most famous of them all: Caring for Your Introvert, which has made the facebook rounds about 4 times from what I can tell. It's not as funny, and some people find it downright offensive.

But I have noticed that people don't post things to facebook about the care and training of extroverts... And it's a little amusing because Jung (Carl Jung) defined "extroversion" as viewing the world through others first and "introversion" as viewing the world through self first. So of course there are tons of introvert-care articles, written by introverts. (Now lest you think I'm providing fodder for the "introverts are selfish" canon, let me be clear.  Introverts are not selfish. In fact, the kindest people I know are introverts. I's and E's just have different vantage points-- like introverts see the world via a mirror, and extroverts see themselves via a security cam.) (I almost deleted this paragraph but I like that metaphor too much.)

So I searched the internet and found a few things.

First there was this blog. I read it and nodded... and then frowned because there are a few things in the midst of the article that are really really not me. For instance: "we learn early on to master the expected patter about weather and jobs and how are the kids." Ha! Not me... but then again I was raised by introverts (though around them constantly) and subsequently I'm pretty darn comfortable with silence. And while I was/am wracked by insecurity about what others think of me... I've also never had any doubt that I was loved, so any love and human interaction I didn't get from my peers because I was so awkward I could always get from my family, which means that learning social skills was both slightly hard and slightly unnecessary, so I didn't achieve any sort of mastery.

Then I found these two designs-- Neither of which are angry or sarcastic, but actually work together.

This is technically written for the parents of introverts, so a few things seem a little condescending (reprimand them and teach them new skills privately), but at the same time I think they are still valid.

http://questionablylate.tumblr.com/post/17227500725/my-design-but-not-my-list-how-to-care-for

And then there is this one, written to be a companion to the first.

http://www.prettybutchlifts.com/2012/04/caring-for-extroverts.html

I read this and I was sold at #2... This happened spontaneously to me yesterday and I could barely contain my grin, though I, of course, down-played myself. I think I've written a blog just on that at some point. Someone boasting about my accomplishments to a third party (especially while I'm present) is one of the greatest things in the world...

Yeah... this was a kinda long and rambly blog... it's not very well organized but I just remembered that I have to go to the dentist in the morning, so I'm not going to go back and fix the organizational pattern. Cause I have reading that needs to happen and teeth to be checked in the morning.

Yesterday's word was tom-foolery. (I'm putting these at the bottom now so as to not start off so strangely.)