Friday, June 1, 2012

Anyone? ... Bueller?

Does any one else, when a friend is leaving your house at night, wait to lock the door and turn off the porch light in case there is a serial killer in the driveway and your friend needs to run back into your house really fast to get away from the axe murderer?

That's just me, then?

Ok. Just checking.

Does anyone else go out and buy a replacement of something just so they can find the original that's been lost for months? (And this is actually an effective strategy?)

Just me, again?

Well, what about this-

Does anyone else leave a chair in the middle of the hallway so you won't forget to buy 9 volt batteries for your smoke detector, but then just climbs over the chair all the time and continually forgets the batteries?

Does anyone else take old clip on earrings and make them into magnets which you then refer to as "fridge bling?"



Does anyone else absolutely hate the way your upper arms look in pictures so you will randomly do arm circles like you used to when you were in high school PE only while sitting in your computer chair, to try and tone them up?

Does anyone else sometimes use "reading a book" as an excuse to go lay down in your bed where you know you will fall asleep within 30 minutes?

Does anyone else keep a stash of Gushers by their computer desk for their random fruit snack cravings?

Does anyone else eat all of the tropical flavor of said Gushers first so that they will only have the strawberry flavored ones eventually which are the clearly superior Gusher flavor?

Has anyone been able to track the development of their tastebuds through college into adulthood by the foods you suddenly realized you loved... or didn't love.

Does anyone else give babies empty Pepsi boxes as toys?


 
And then take lots and lots of pictures of the baby?

Does anyone else think Purple Burrito food is super duper duper bland?

Does anyone else care if they are like anyone else?

Or am I alone in the universe?

2 comments:

  1. Answered in order asked:
    YES! TOTALLY!
    No, you're not the only one.
    Never done that intentionally, although, now, I might try it! Hahaha!
    Do this all the time... maybe not a chair for batteries, but books on floors, etc.
    No, but I have read about this kind of idea somewhere. It looks good though!
    Yes to the first part. No to the arm circles... but again, good idea!
    Yes... But I'm not happy you're exposing my secret excuse for a nap! :-)
    Um, no. Sorry. But i do have a secret stash of kit kits minis that I bought 75%off after Easter.
    No.
    Yes! and YES! Babies. Love them.
    Never eaten there. Maybe I won't ever.
    I think everyone cares... I mean, how stupid I got excited about the questions we had in common? But I think we all like to know we're not the only one... Even if we do also want to imagine ourselves unique. Funny, that.
    I have no idea why I felt the need to answer this quiz-style. But there ya go. :-D

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  2. Great, now I'm going terrified for you because you don't lock the door immediately when someone leaves your apartment. And I'm going to tell you a scary story, circa 2002. Matt and I were dating, and he had come by with some Chinese food for me (he was delivering Chinese at the time and sometimes he brought me buffet leftovers). He had just left, then immediately came back because he had forgotten something. And I had jokingly said, "Who is it?" even though I knew it was him. So then, seriously not more than 30 seconds after he left the second time, I heard the knob jiggle. And when I went to open it, even though I was virtually positive Matt had just forgotten something else, for some reason I said, "Who is it?" again. And the person said, "It's Matt!" But. Here is the scary part. IT WASN'T MATT. For a second, I was like, maybe it is him. Maybe he has a frog in his throat. Maybe I'm being ridiculous. So, because I was afraid I was being rude, despite my sense of creepiness, I was like, "It's who?" And then this guy says, "It's Matt. You just let me in!" And then I had heard enough of his voice to realize it was NOT Matt. And there followed a completely crazy conversation in which the guy moved from pleading, "I just want to see your eyes!" to threatening, and I grew increasingly terrified, because I had just moved in and didn't have a phone connected, and I didn't have a cell phone then. So I just sat their clutching a mop handle in one hand and a butcher knife in the other for 30 terrifying minutes until Crazy-Matt-Impersonator/Would-Be-Burglar-or-Worse wandered away.

    I got out of the lease on that place and moved out the next day. I could not sleep in that apartment. Now I lock the door after me when I go downstairs to get the mail. I don't want any surprises.

    ReplyDelete

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