Half of the time I want someone to take care of... half of the time I want someone to take care of me, and half the time I just want to be alone... Did you notice that's 3 halves? That's what I'm feeling like now... 3 halves shoved into one whole when there should be two....and about to burst at the seams. Last night I found Nathan's journal spanning from the summer that we got together (for real, this time) until the Christmas eve after we were engaged. It wasn't as full a journal as it sounds.. he was more a once every 2 months kind of journaler...and then once a day for a week... and then once again in the next 2 months. Ach, but I was loved... I'm missing that. I'm missing seeing his grin and the special look in his eyes that he only gave me. I missing holding his hand... That's just not something you can get somewhere else. That look isn't something that just falls off of trees.
Bah.. I'm gonna take a "nap" (for real this time, not like the fake nap I took this afternoon when I just read 325 pages and did not actually nap.) Maybe I'll wake up again before I have to get up in the morning... Maybe at 5AM I'll wake up and not be so mopey and I'll write more then.
Hugs to you!
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