How painful the lump in my throat was.
How I would drive if I started crying.
How much I love Kara.
How much I love Josh.
How much I love Josh and Kara.
How much I love Bolt.
How much ice cream I have in my freezer.
How much ice cream a person can eat in a night.
How large the lack of "Warm Delights" in my pantry looms.
How I should go to the grocery store to buy out all the Warm Delights.
How to make my own Warm Delight cause who needs Betty Freaking Crocker?!?
***P.S. After one attempt at making a single serving "mug brownie," I can say who needs Betty Crocker. I do. Also, from here on out ice cream is living in the deep freeze. The defrost function is murder on ice cream when you don't eat it fast enough.
In all seriousness, though.... Today was the day. Now some people might not know that Kara is coming back for the last weekend in August. You see they can't get their house in Philly until Sept. 5th, and also Kara and I have a 10 year friend-a-versary to celebrate. So, today wasn't the for-real goodbye... at least not for us....
but still... don't think that I didn't notice that the day my best friend moved away from Springfield is exactly one and a half years after my husband died. And in a strange way that put things into perspective for me.
Cause I know what a "permanent" goodbye feels like... and this isn't it. When I miss Kara, I won't be able to just drive over to her house... but I can call or e-mail or text or-- in a dire emergency-- drive to the airport and get on a plane. Kara isn't gone from my life. I will visit her. She will come back for my wedding. (You know, to the guy I'm not even dating, yet. ;) ) She will know my children. I will know hers.
That's not to say that I'm not likely to sit down and have a good cry at some point.
But Kara's not gone from my life. Not even a little bit.
And she's doing what God's called her to do.
And I happen to think God knows what He's doing, even when it hurts.
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