Escaping the movie

Jack: Besides, I can be friends with her, but you're her soulmate
Dawson: You just told the bride you don't believe in soulmates.
Jack: I don't believe in perfect love. But I do believe that there are people whose lives are inextricably intertwined. You know… who have a bond that lasts forever, that can never be broken.

Those beautiful words were spoken by characters in Dawson's Creek.

See, even the most plebeian of shows can have a moment of eloquence every once in a while. I don't know that I even agree with the sentiment, precisely... or maybe I do, but just not for me. I'm not sure.... but I'm also not bitter. I want there to be people whose lives are inextricably intertwined. I still believe in happily ever after, despite it all.

It's amazing how much of my life feels like a book or a movie and not like a real life at all. And I don't know that I like it. Ok, yes, I'm a theatre kid and yes, I love a dramatic personality and heavens knows I love a happy ending... but I often wish I were living a life that couldn't be turned into a movie.

I wish I were in the midst of your average, normal, everyday boring life... the one where you date and marry and raise 2.5 kids and nothing exciting or interesting ever seems to happen, and then they sing a country song about you and how your life is so great cause you are country folk and you are just being you. That's one of the real fairy tales of the modern generation. The country song.  Home of the last great romanticism of a normal life. I know, I know, this here blog might be the vacation home.

Ach, I really like piano music. I forgot, or only recently realized this, but it's true. Guitars are well and good.... but piano music... I dunno there is just something so.. relaxing? transporting? soothing? All of the above.

Pensive.. thoughtful... musing... I think this might be as close to introspection as I get... and it's 3:30 in the morning. No wonder. Let me take this sleep-drunk opportunity to let you know that I really appreciate you... I appreciate you reading my blog and I appreciate you caring about me and my little saga. I'm beginning to come back... I'm beginning to make decisions, I'm beginning to move- not on, but forward. So please, keep praying for me. I'm not outta this movie yet.