Fame- I'm *not* gonna live forever

So I think the world knows that Whitney Houston passed away on Saturday. It's very sad, though honestly it makes me think about how many other people died this week who didn't make the news... who lived smaller, simpler lives, who never took drugs, who never made millions, but who still touched the lives of the people around them... who made a difference... just not in that loud way that we know about celebrities.

They say that death is a great equalizer... but I'm not really sure that it is. Because I don't know who else died on Saturday... but I'm sure that hundreds of people did... who were far more important to their loved ones than some singer, no matter how talented she once was.

And I'm sure that Whitney was far more important to the people who knew her as a person than to the world who knew her as a icon.

I don't know that I want to be famous.... Fame seems to come with a whole lot of negatives... but gosh would I like to make a difference. I want to be able to touch people... to change people... to share something of myself that will last beyond me. Maybe that's an odd perspective for a lass of a mere 28 years, but I know better than most how little time we might have... I realized the other day that at age 13, Nathan could have said, "I feel like my life is half over already" and been right... And in a strange way I find that hilarious, because can you imagine an emo little 13 year old saying that? And can you imagine the reaction that kid would get? Rolled eyes at the very least. But that's the thing- we don't know what we have, or how long we have it, so we have to *live* today.

I'm a pretty direct person... I don't know if that comes from being an open book, or an extrovert or just really not liking to lie... but I think it's become a bit of a badge for me lately... because I don't want to waste my time, nor do I want to waste anyone else's time with stupid games or half truths or elephants in the room. If I'm honest and direct, then I don't have to have regrets. I've done all that I can do, and if it doesn't work or it isn't right, well it's probably not in the grand plan.

I just have to give it up. If I'm supposed to be famous... live a big life that touches millions, then that's what will happen.... but if I'm supposed to live a smaller, simpler life, and just touch those who touch me... that's fine, too. There was once a time I thought I knew the plan.... but I was wrong then, and if I tried to make a plan now, I'd probably be just as wrong.

Today is my grandparent's 57th anniversary. That's just as big of an accomplishment to me as selling billions of albums. I can only wish to recreate such a thing, someday.

I leave you with this Houston song: It was her last big release... and while it's not as flashy or showy.... I actually find it more relate-able and personal.