Midnight Ramen? Sources say: Yes!
so... if you are facebook friends with me you may have noticed that I might have accidentally gotten a new car today. And it is sweeeet! I'm supposed to get my oil changed and tires rotated at 5,000 miles... that is 8.5 tanks of gas. 8.5. Holy smokes. I have decided I need more guys to look at it and tell me it's so cool, because guys seem to be a lot more vocal on noticing all the details that are cool, where as girls are just like, "It's so nice! It's so cool!" Not that I don't like it either way, it's just that in noticing all of the details, the guys gush for a longer time. I think it's really pretty, too... Blizzard Pearl is secretly (and very subtly and only in sunlight) iridescent... which is pretty well my favorite color, ever. (Yes, I love opals the most out of all the gemstones, too... darn, that they are so soft!) So, let me get this straight... three months to the day after my husband died my car arrived (after being delayed about a week by strikes and then inexplicably delayed another 4 days.) Not only that, but I got a car that I've been talking about wanting for around 5 years (even though initially I wasn't looking or thinking about this car, at all) and is nearly impossible to get (at least not without waiting at least 6 months-1 year) in my favorite color (that I had no control over and thought I wanted a different color). And I even just happened to get the perfect CD from the library (that I reserved about a month ago) at exactly the right time to play it in my new car? That is far too many coincidences for me to overlook... and so appropriate, as Nathan knew me a lot better than I did myself.
I think that words of affirmation might be my main love language... I've noticed that I really like to be reassured... I like to get a lot of opinions and I get really excited when people talk about things that they notice about me. I also really like compliments (though I suppose most people do)... This probably shouldn't be that big of a surprise to me, considering I was married to a man who was king of the spontaneous compliment, but I swear it's like a new thought is dawning on me. It's funny, because I'm pretty sure Nathan could have told you in about 5 seconds of thought what my main love language is, but I was asked this question about 2 or 3 weeks ago and just now came up with the answer.... I think. There are only 5 options!
A while back Melissa explained "introvert" and "extrovert" to me as defined by Carl Jung. She said that basically an extrovert is a person who sees self through a lens of the outside, first, and an introvert is a person who sees the outside through a lens of self, first. Why I tell you this is because, though I am shy, I am actually a strong extrovert- and here is some proof. It took me so long to figure out what my love language is because I was attempting to diagnose myself in relation to other people- aka what love language I use on others the most often. Oh extroversion! How am I supposed to get to know myself, but to have others tell me! (In my defense I think many times the languages you use the most are the ones that you like the most.) But I couldn't figure out what my love language is, because I'm most likely to give gifts or acts of service... but those two options just didn't feel right. (I'm also told I'm intuitive.)
I actually don't give out that many compliments unless someone is down on themselves, (or like Kara, prompts me with the compliment she wants :) ) But I think that's the language that speaks the most for me. I remember compliments for a really long time. As in once- in the 8th grade- my English teacher wrote on a paper that I "have a flair for using just the right words most of the time." And in college an acting professor told me that I took things seriously and brought out the best in people- that I was "golden" and I turned everything and everyone I touched golden too. And the good compliments like those? I repeat them in my head to myself pretty often... like once every two weeks or so, at least. Go figure, words mean a lot to me. Me, the girl who, when confronted with tragedy, started writing down every stray thought in her head. The girl whose idea of sharing grief is sharing stories... Seriously, I'm beginning to feel like a moron for not noticing this earlier.
It's kinda weird when I think about it... because my immediate family is not really a group of compliment-ers... My dad gives acts of service (see coconut cream pies) and my mom is usually a gift-er and I think Rhonda is quality time... or at least our gingerbread church would seem to say so! :) ...and don't get me wrong I love all of those things! But we aren't really talkers... and getting opinions out of my parents is sometimes akin to pulling teeth with a pair of jello pliers*, so it would seem strange that I would like words of affirmation so much... and then I think back to all those parent-teacher conferences that my mom took me to as a kid. She normally brought me in the room with the teacher and basically the teacher just sang my praises to my mom for a few minutes. Mom also has a tendency to brag on her kids to others... or at least she does when said kid is in the room with her... I assume she also does it when we aren't, as well... and my extended family is pretty free with the praise, too, so perhaps it's not as strange as it first seemed to me. Interestingly enough, Paula (aka 2nd Mom) also brags on me in my vicinity (it always gives me warm fuzzies...) and she is generous with compliments, too. Considering she is one half of the dynamic duo who raised Nathan, it makes sense. Apple, tree, and all that.
*if you liked this analogy, you might really enjoy this list. I'm not sure that I believe the "from high schoolers" creation story... seems a bit fishy, but either way the list is still hilarious. Some of them I'd heard before, but... some of the analogies I'd never met... you could say the analogies and I were like John and Mary who had never met, who were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
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