Fear or Will

It might be overkill to get Starbucks two days in a row during lunch... but I went for a week without it. Not without coffee, mind you, but without the sweet nectar of white chocolate peppermint... it was rough.

I frequently shock people by telling them I grew up an hour away from the closest McDonalds and/or Wal-mart.

We won't even think about how far away the closest Starbucks is... Quincy I think... Quincy is in a different STATE. (and approx. 1.5 hours from home and 30 minutes from Hannibal.)

Ok, maybe we will think about it.... speaking of thinking...

I'm considering a tattoo again.. only slightly more seriously since it's coming up on a year and I'm about to be able to make "big" life decisions again.

I've been thinking a lot about several issues related to it. Tattoos were not condoned in the church I grew up in. In the Vineyard no one cares. I've looked into the Biblical references and I personally believe that it is morally acceptable.

They are also socially accepted in a way they never have been before- even here in the Bible belt. Granted they aren't quite so socially accepted in my immediate family. I'm pretty sure my grandmothers would freak out and I don't think either mom would like it much... (Though my mom said that since I'm adult she should probably let me make my own decisions :) ) I don't know that I'd get much of an opinion out of either dad.

The only other person who I am concerned about is (and you may think I'm crazy for this) but my future spouse. See, I don't know who that is... and I would hope that he wouldn't care-- especially because this is not a snap decision and it will mean/symbolize a lot to me... but if I come from a relatively conservative family, then chances are the man I marry is also going to come from a relatively conservative family... and probably be relatively conservative himself.  I'd hate to think I'd done something that he might find morally reprehensible... but then again would I *want* to marry someone who couldn't unbend enough to understand why I would want a tattoo?

What does it say about me that I'm trying to take into account the feelings of a person I don't know? Am I holding back from living because of fear or am I simply making a responsible decision? Not sure I know the answer to that one.

Interestingly enough, after writing this I watched the Green Lantern movie... and in that movie (and maybe the comic books?) the two opposing forces are not "good and evil" but "fear and will"... That feels a whole lot more like the struggles I face every day.