I'm (slowly) learning that self-confidence is not believing you are so incredible that everyone else must think so as well, but rather knowing that sometimes someone won't think you are incredible and being ok with that.
Because if they don't think you are incredible what's the worst that can happen? They make fun of you behind your back. Maybe they make fun of you to your face but that doesn't normally happen now that we've all left jr. high.
So they secretly make fun of you and maybe avoid you.
I don't want to hang out with people who don't like me anyway. And if I don't know that it happens, do I really have to feel bad about it? There are probably people saying really nice things about me somewhere, too. It all equals out.
Plus it's a lot easier to like people who aren't desperate for you to like them... to just see if there is chemistry and to start hanging out if there is. Pressure makes life harder.
I am finally getting to a place where I have the kind of self-confidence that can say to people, "I like you. I think you are totally great. And if you think the same about me, wonderful, and if you don't.... Ok. I still like you, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in that."
Do we care if little kids like us? No, we just smile at them and talk to them, and laugh when they hide from us or run away from us.
Did I care if my students liked me? Not really, I had friends, I didn't need for them to be my friends... Though I was happy that a lot of them did like me.
It's that attitude that's really freeing.
I'd love it if you'd like me... but if you don't... meh.... no skin off my nose. I have friends. I don't need you, I just like you and there is room in my life for you if you want to take up some space.
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