Winter blahs

Every once in a while I just want to talk to him...  Not because I have anything earth shattering to say but just because it's been so long and I have so much to tell him about what's happened and people I've met and things that I've done. Even if he couldn't stay... even if he wasn't "mine" any more... just to hear his thoughts and his laugh and get his opinion... even if I didn't follow what he thought I should do. Just to hear his voice again.

The thing that's so hard about death is how permanent it feels... It's not like he's going to come back from vacation at any moment and tell me all about how cool heaven is. I wish it was. I wish I could talk to him... but he isn't there, so instead I write on his facebook wall... not because he can read it but because other people can and if they can then at least someone knows... at least I don't feel quite so alone.

Ugh. I don't think I like the winter... all of the really hard stuff happened in the cold... and I've even been having some pretty good times as of late, but the default emotion just isn't nearly as positive as it is in the spring or the summer.

Maybe I'm just pouty cause I have to go to the dentist and get some fillings tomorrow morning. Double Ugh.

Well as a combat to fillings and the winter blahs I will post this: it's an article about 12 things that you can do to make yourself happier (aka 12 things that happy people naturally do.) Can't hurt, right?