Andúril

You know, I've been thinking and I think there is a stigma that comes along with being a widow... or at least a young widow. I mean it's not like people think you killed your husband or anything, but there is a bit of an assumption that you are damaged... that you have a lot of baggage... that you are going to have issues.

None of it is true. At least not any more true than it is of anyone else in the world. Everyone is damaged somehow, everyone has baggage, everyone has issues. I think that I'm probably just as well-adjusted if not more than a divorced woman... and I don't have trust issues. I think I have the same amount (or less) baggage than a woman my age who's never been married (and who wants to be)... and I have less fear and more confidence. And at least for now I only have half the issues a married woman has, because I don't have my husband's issues too. (That's a fun sidenote to marriage... you have to deal with double the issues.) I think that the elderly escape this stigma because... well, by the time you are old people expect you to know how to handle stuff. But if you're young then the death was probably tragic and you probably don't have a clue what you are doing.

Well that last part is true, I certainly don't have a clue what I'm doing. But I muddle along and I try and I keep looking forward... I mean I've been through a fire... and it's changed me... but I think becoming a widow has honed me. It's given me a point of view, it's given me perspective, and darn but if it hasn't made me even more sure of my faith and the importance of focusing on the positives... and you know... now, when I let my joy out... it means something to other people... Not that it didn't before, but when I can say, as a person who has walked through the valley of the shadow of death that it is well with my soul.... There is something powerful in that.

This post makes me feel like Andúril. Just call me the widow reforged, the flame of the west.